Boyfriend is having a baby with his ex and I feel jealous?

She has 4 months left of her pregnancy and she tricked him into getting her pregnant (said she was on the pill and wasn't). The closer it gets the more jealous I feel. I don't want to be jealous, but I can't help it. I don't mind sharing him with his baby, but it feels like I'm sharing him with his ex too, even though he wants nothing more to do with her and only wants to see his baby. I knew the situation before I got with him and I have no intention of breaking things off, I just want any advice on how to deal with my feelings.

So what would you guys do? Thanks for all your answers.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She may have lied about being on the pill, but if he didn't use a condom then the blame still falls onto him. It takes two to make a baby. So, demonizing her for "tricking" him doesn't take away from the fact that he still chose to have unprotected sex with her.

    There is no way to "deal" with it. Whether you like it or not, she will always be in his life, for the baby. His baby comes first which means the ex will always be in the picture. Honestly, if you can't handle that then it's probably best to end things now because this "issue" isn't going to just go away. If it's already causing problems and jealousy within your relationship, it's only going to get worse with time. If you can't accept the fact that he is having a baby with another woman who will continue to be in his life, then perhaps you should walk away.

    Even though he says he doesn't want anything to do with her, he will still have contact with her. He will have to if he wants to be a good father. Things like this are complicated. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand your feelings about it, but, like I said before, it's only going to get harder once the baby arrives.

    So, you can either get over those feelings and try to remain civil towards her (because she will undoubtedly be in his life, simply for the sake of the child), or end the relationship if it's too much for you to handle.

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    • I said the same thing about the unprotected sex thing. I think it's just getting used to the idea of it, when I'm with him I forget about all of it, it's only when he's not around that I really remember. His ex is bi-polar and has threatened him many times, she's also quite controlling and that's exactly why she doesn't know about our relationship. He's scared shell stop him from seeing the baby, so we are waiting until after the birth to tell her. I think that might be why I'm feeling this way?

    • Yeah, I understand. It is definitely difficult to date someone with a child. If you truly want your relationship to work then, like you said, it will take getting used to and a lot of maturity to ignore the ex and just focus on your relationship and of course his child. Just because he has a child with her doesn't mean there are any feelings involved. It just means he will need to communicate with her solely for the purposes of parenting and you'll just need to realize that and accept it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • She is a part of his life forever and your feelings of jealousy is well founded. If you want to stay in a mess than learn to get over it. If his ex is playing this high powered game why would you want to be apart of it. The future holds trouble, fights, and possible jail time. No one will have peace for 18 years and then the child will be born a bastard, or tool.

    Get out.

    He had sex with a woman he had no intention of marring and he got caught. Good luck.

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  • Talk to him about this. Explain to him how you feel. He'll most likely understand. We sometimes can't control how we feel. Like a lot of times, we can't help who we fall in love with. We sometimes can't help who we get jealous of.

    You won't be sharing him with his ex. Yes, they'll still communicate because of the baby. But you have to be able to trust him. If he's a good boyfriend, he'll reassure you that he's only talking to her when it comes to the baby and would never do anything to harm your guys' relationship.

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  • This is precisely the reason why wise people refrain from pre-marital sex, irrespective of the circumstances.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Think of it this way, you'll be sharing him with his future child. The ex will always be in the picture as the biological mother of the child. That doesn't mean he will have any feelings for her especially when she trapped him. Focus on him and your relationship and do your best to block her out.

    Maybe do some reading on newborns so when the baby is born, you can help him. I'm sure he is scared and won't know what to do.

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  • Your profile says single 2 times but aside from that I'd probably be jealous too. Just talk to him about it the situation is going to be awkward and miserable despite what you do but just try to make the best of it.

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