I don't mind protecting a girl, no problem with that but I hate having to provide, what do you think?

I hate how us guys have always been expected to be the providers, breadwinners, chief wagers in the relationship/marriage, mainly because it takes very long hard laborous years of hard work in order to become financially successful that is enough in order to make a living, but obviously I'm aware of the fact that the world, life does not owe us a living, and because of the fact that guys are expected to move out of their parents house way more than girls are, girls can live at home at pretty much any age and most guys won't mind, won't care, will still date her, all a girl just needs to have is her own car and a job, just a high school diploma at least, but guys are expected or preferred to be college university educated, have their own place, be self-sufficient, its like throughout history men have always been the givers and the women have been the receivers, are just along for the ride and don't contribute much, hence that's why they expect and want men to take the lead, lead the relationship, be the leader in the relationship, I don't logically see how this gives us men so-called power. But overall, yes it is what it is but I don't like it, women don't really need to be anything with their lives except for just working or having their own car, men need a whole lot more than that, I brought this up because one guy I was speaking to said one of his ex-girlfriends who he was with for 3 and a half years, he had his own place but the girl still lived with her parents, and he asked her what would you think of me if I still lived at home? And she said "we wouldn't be going out"

Updates:
But at the same time I don't mind at all taking on the masculine role of being the protector because I feel women were meant to be protected since biologically men are naturally physically stronger than women so it makes perfect logical sense, but its the providership aspect I hate the most because guys will unfortunately have to sacrifice or put their dating life/sex life on hold for the burden of accomplishing their goals, getting their life together and that can be painful while single
Also I'm angry that most women will not date a guy who makes less money than them or has a lower education level than she does, she expects the guy to be above or at the same level as she is
College is not for everyone and it seems a lot of guys who don't have a college degree are screwes since it seems most attractive girls have a college degree

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I see where you're coming from but thousands or millions of years of evolution is pretty tough to break

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Girls Said 6

  • It's 2014. If women have a problem with you not "providing" for them, then they should get with the times. Any girl that isn't willing to pull her weight financially in a relationship shouldn't be in a relationship.

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  • Men have always been the ones who make more (on average) than women. I'm not going to state any specific statistics as I don't have any to cite, but I am pretty sure even at the same types of jobs men have made more per hour or more on salary as women.

    The whole breadwinner thing I think started long before when women stayed at home: cooking, cleaning and taking care of children. Women didn't work in those times. We began to have more socially acceptable freedoms but I still don't think women have caught up to men in the money-making world since it is really only in the last few generations that it was normal to have two working partners.

    I guess it is just apart of being "old fashioned", however women for the most part still have jobs. Just because you're with someone who may not make as much as you shouldn't be a problem- wouldn't you feel pretty small if it was the opposite and she made more than you? I personally think of people that make more money as more dominant.

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    • I wouldn't care if she made more money than me but at the same time I'm not expecting her to actually take care of me

  • If you don't want to provide for her, find a girl who is okay with you not being a provider.

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  • I do t think of real relationships as providing and supporting the other spouse. However you delegate roles is up to you but you're a partnership. My money is your money and vise versa. If you want me to do all the cooking and cleaning essential for life then OK but you need to pay the bills. If you want me to bring home the money OK. But you better do the laundry and take care of the kids. If you want us both to work and both do housework fine. But it's not "I'm a servant to the other". Both are working to keep life going and it requires selflessness.

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  • Good luck finding a wife

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  • Women support themselves these days

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    • True but yet most of them will not date a guy who still lives at home past a certain age

What Guys Said 3

  • Well you see, girls can get away with not having their own place and the other stuff you mentioned... if they want to get used for sex! Not necessarily for a good relationship that consists of two people bettering themselves. There ARE guys who won't date girls who live with their parents! I am willing to bring a girl who lives with her parents to my place for a hook up, but it would take A LOT of convincing to get me to commit to her... and I'd probably still turn her down.

    Many girls have those double standards and they are childish and hypocritical. That's definitely nothing new. The key is to have standards for yourself. Only date someone your equal. This goes for good and bad qualities. Look for a good looking girl, if you have a good looking body yourself. If the girl lives with her parents, and you live on her own, don't date her. If somebody else is willing to, it's not your problem. The problem right now guys are having with dating in general is that too many girls are using guys for their assets by "having a relationship" with them in a way that is very conditional. Breaking this trend is extremely difficult. The girl you mentioned is a perfect example of this. She probably claims to love him so much and all that junk, but she lacks character and if that guy loses his place, suddenly she is going to say things like "I have been thinking... and I really don't feel like we're compatible..." and dump him.

    My last girlfriend was very interested in how I had my own place and car. She was constantly boasting of how committed she was and all that stuff but when it came down to helping pay for the dating expenses alone, she had nothing(lived with her parents and had no car). I had to move on to something better. If more guys up their standards and stop looking at a girls' looks and nothing more this won't be a problem. Eventually these types of girls are going to have to either become better people in order to have a quality guy, or be stuck dating at the low standards they set for themselves. But guys are allowing themselves to be stuck dating girls just because of their bodies and nothing more while the girl continually lies about how much she likes him and only dates him as a means to not stay home with her parents.

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    • Ya I brought this question up mainly because of how there is a stigma against men in society if a guy still lives at home past a certain age but not for girls

    • Oh yeah. There definitely is! I have heard stories of girls trying to sneak into a guy's place too. They deliberately leave little bits of their stuff behind and suddenly they live there.

    • ya, especially since it's much more expensive to make a living nowadays

  • Why do you believe you have to put your dating life/sex life on hold for the burden of accomplishing your goals? Why can't you do both at the same time? Guys do it all the time. And not all men are the providers anymore. The majority are perhaps, but not all. There are plenty of women providing, and there are plenty of two-income two-provider families these days. Two decent incomes has almost become a necessity for middle and lower class families to even survive these days.

    "(Women) are just along for the ride and don't contribute much." Are you NUTS? Women have ALWAYS contributed. In the past they stayed at home while the husbands worked. That may be true, but worked their asses off at home raising families and taking care of things at home. And they still do. That's why we correctly say "she/he doesn't have a job outside the home". It's a bitch of a job. The pay sucks. And the boss is a prick when he gets home. I wouldn't want the job.

    I applaud women who "work at home" doing that. I applaud women who have a career and then go home and "work at home"; men too. Life is hard. There's no such thing as "power" in a relationship. It's shared responsibility. It's teamwork. So someone lives at home longer, girl or guy, so what. That's not their fault. That's the parents fault for letting them.

    The majority of women want careers these days. At least for awhile. Many go back to it after having children even. And to say they don't really need to do anything with their lives except "just working...". My god. Good luck finding a woman today who will put up with your way of thinking.



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  • Good god, man. You'd better see a doctor about that burr up your ass. You're going to go through life alone and bitter and be known by all your neighbors as 'that angry old man'. Good luck with that.

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