Should I be worried or am I looking to far into it?

I met this guy online (Facebook) and we have been chatting back and forth for 3 months. We then started chatting on the phone and it has been about 6-7 months. We live distance apart but he has fam that live in the same city I live in. We really like each other. He surprised me for new years and drove from his location up in my city. He also wanted to touch base with fam. He took me out to eat and dancing for new years. He is a complete gentlemen. I know he has commented on other woman pic and one particular person I know commented on his pic. Weeks before he visited me she commented "when are you coming? The plane left weeks ago." He never commented or responded on there. So I took it that she lives miles away from him. He may have her number and been contacting her. I didn't think anything about it but recently he commented on one of her pics and it kind of caught my attention. Last night at dinner he kept telling me how pretty I am and what he is looking for in life. He is very interested it seems. He is a sweet gentleman. Says he is willing to move anywhere. Anyway, the woman he supposedly have been chatting with posted a pic of colors she included on her face (makeup) for people to see. I believe she sells make up. What caught my attention is that he commented under the pic "I'm in love." Should I be worried or do guys just say things like that when they have a ego boost? I know he likes me but...smh...I admit I can be jealous sometimes but I don't show it. He has a couple days left before he leaves and we didn't spend time together today. He was spending time with fam which I do understand. I know communication is definitely going to be the key if we keep this going. Also, we have not kissed or slept together of course.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It does sound like he is interested in you, but I don't think you should push him into anything. This may cause him to distance himself. I'd send him a text saying, "hey I know you are busy with family and that is the most important, would enjoy getting together again if you happen to have some time. If not no worries at all!" This would make a move without playing all your cards. This keeps him intrigued and shows that you are not going to cling or be high maintenance.

    As for the other woman, it's hard to say with the information you provided. I'd say it could be interest, but also I doubt as a man you'd use the L word with a girl that you were interested in but not committed to, even as a joke. That is playing with fire in my opinion. My guess is that he may view her as just a friend.

    • Thanks. You were right. He is a gentleman. I realized how much I really liked him before he left and I asked him to spend the night. He plans to move to my state after he finish school in Atlanta in 6 months.

    • Mind you...we have been talking for 8 months. He says he wanted me but he was trying to be a gentleman. He left it up to me.

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What Guys Said 1

  • The thing is that there is nothing official between you. You aren't justified in being jealous. I think you can assume that she is interested in him and he may well be interested in her too. If you just let matters play out on their own she may win him over. I don't think you can afford to be passive in this. There are a lot of ways to take a more active role in the budding relationship and I leave that to you for what you're comfortable with. But I advise doing something to let him know you are interested in more than occasional visits.

    • Thanks...I will let him know. It is clear that he wants a relationship with someone. I guess I need to open up and let him know. I am bad at that. I guess I need to tell him before he leaves. Anything I should keep in mind when I tell him? I'm a little nervous...smh. I told him in advance that it takes time for me to open up. He says we have time.

    • Only be honest and sincere. You have to judge how much to open up about. It helps that you already told him that it's hard for you to open up. You can always begin with "This is hard for me to say". Then you don't have to worry about any nervousness and stumbling around looking for the right words because that's already out there.

    • Thanks. Look at my answer about. Mind you that we have been talking for 8 months.

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