Who should contact first after a break up, the man or woman?

I started talking to an old flame from many years ago. I think I gave him the wrong impression that I wasn't interested, but I do have very strong feeling for this man. I just haven't been in a relationship in a long time. Me and my husband spit up five years ago, and I just wasn't ready for a relationship for a long time. This past summer is when I began to feel like I was ready for one. That's when I found him on Facebook,. I know now I pretend like I wasn't interested so he moved on. I think I was just too scared.. I didn't want to do or say anything to mess things up. I want to send him a text or something, but I don't want to appear as needed. I have read that this is how men view women who contact man first after a break up. It's now been two months since we talked. Should I try and contact him? I really do love and miss him very much.


Most Helpful Guy

  • There aren't rules about this sort of thing. And since he doesn't know that the situation has changed for you, he has no incentive to contact you. You need to make the effort for there to be any hope at all. You need to think about what to tell him. If you make casual conversation, he may not see that as more than friendly interest. I suggest going further to the extent that your comfortable doing so.


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What Guys Said 2

  • There's no rule about this--if you're interested, be honest. Honesty is more important than what someone thinks is the'roper' role for a female.

    jAnyne who still has those fixed notions about who should od what first, these days, is someone you should avoid, so don't hesitate to 'break the rules' here.

  • You didn't break up, you never dated in the first place. Go ahead and contact him. Apologize for your previous behavior and hopefully he's still willing to give it a shot.


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