Girls: I'm married, is texting another girl cheating?

My wife of 10 years has been getting jealous because I text a girl I work with for an Hour straight at times when I'm at home.

The girl is 11 years younger than me and good looking. We flirt with each other. She likes it that I look like I'm 25. We immediately stuck together like glue when we first met and talk about everything. Yes, I mean everything.

My wife feels like she is getting cheated on and that I want this girl. Do you think this is cheating? Do you think I should stop texting this girl for an hour at a time when I am home?


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  • In my opinion, that is cheating. It's not physically cheating, but emotionally cheating. I had a talk with my boyfriend about what he thought constituted cheating...it's different for everyone. Both he and I agreed that emotional cheating is investing time in another person of the opposite gender (or same gender if homosexual...or either if bi) outside of what is necessary (such as work or school).

    Especially because your wife is uncomfortable you should respect her wishes...stop texting this woman all together unless it is needed for work and absolutely necessary.

    I do not text other men unless it is for work/school (which has been like once) and do not become emotionally close to them...I was on the other end of a similar situation...a man I was in grad school with became friends with me...we had a lot in common and he was married. I was pretty naive and we got close. I wasn't attracted to him in any way other than a friend...but he confessed to me that he liked me...I cut all ties with him out of respect for his wife.

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What Girls Said 13

  • If your wife went through your texts with that women, can you say with full honesty that she would still be with you at the end of the day? that your wife wouldn't be upset at all? If the answer to either is no then she will probably consider it cheating.

    If your socializing with this woman is worth your marriage, then please sir, continue.

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  • please don't do this to our wife. that is very horrible. I don't want to imagine whatyour wife feels like right now. good god, you’re a jerk. If you have any brain at all you wouldn't even have to ask this stupid question of yours.

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  • If you have to delete it yea its cheating we life in a new age were texting became the new flirting and by flirting and leading on another person its cheating why don't you take the time your texting the other person and spend it with your wife. Think for a while how you would feel if it wwas your wife texting another man like that

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  • You should re-direct that flirting back tot he marriage. I get that you don't think there's anything wrong with what's happening right now but this is exactly how emotional affairs start - and yeah, you're already having an emotional affair. All it will take? Opportunity to progress beyond that. A lunch date out, an after work meeting, a shared interest that just you two share together... not many marriages can withstand that kind of draw.

    Be kind to yourself and your wife. Dial back the co-worker flirting and texting. It's bad news.

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  • How about you just answer the question yourself? I think you know the answer. Just remember a happy wife is a happy life! Seriously.

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  • No it is not cheating. It's understandable that you have work friends and they may be female of a different age and that's fine.

    The problem comes in where your motives lie - why are you texting her?

    If it's 100% for a friendship that's perfectly fine. Introduce your wife to her to make her feel more comfortable.

    If there's more than friendship TREAD LIGTLY! Harmless texting can easily lead to harmless hanging out which may lead to a kiss and more than that by which point you're in a full blown affair.

    I know this because I'm that younger girl to someone else (though he's separated) and we're still together 8 months later...

    (Though also if it is just a friendship try to imagine how you would feel if you and your wife switched roles and it was her who had a new work friend 10 years younger. You might feel a bit uncomfortable and suspicious, no?)

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  • You should be asking yourself, why are you texting another woman and not your wife?

    If you feel, there's something missing in your marriage...then take control and tell your wife what your missing, and you want for her to fulfill it not another woman.

    So, yes if its not your wife fulfilling your needs, and your sharing it all with another woman then it's cheating.

    Your wife should fill your happiness, vice versa.

    Turn the tables... lets say your wife was smiling a lot and not because you made her smile, but another man is fulfilling what your not...

    do you like knowing another man is slowly trying to break up your family? Which can leave you feeling as the one who failed, by not doing your part as the man in your marriage, so another had to fulfill what you couldn't?

    Keep in mind, if the young woman is willing to flirt, and talk with a married man...she has no respect for herself, she definitely has no respect for you either.

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  • Wow that's 100% cheating. Intention to cheat=cheat. You obviously enjoy her attention

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  • Yes.

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  • "Do you think this is cheating?"

    Yes and you should stop and thank your lucky stars your wife hasn't left you yet. In my book, it's cheating. How would you feel if you knew your wife was flirting and texting a hot young guy while she's with you?

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  • Yes, you should stop texting her. You may not be acting on it, but it's only asking for trouble and essentially, emotionally or mentally cheating on your wife, depending on your intentions. If you were just friends, and there was no physical attraction or anything, then my answer might be different. But that you work with this girl, she's much younger, and you text a lot while home when you should be speaking with your wife, seems a little unfair and kind of sketchy. You don't want to give your wife a reason not to trust you.

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  • "The girl is 11 years younger than me and good looking. We flirt with each other. She likes it that I look like I'm 25. We immediately stuck together like glue when we first met and talk about everything."

    That is very rude and disresepectful. Yes, I consider than cheating. Why should you be texting another woman (especially one that is younger than you) for such a long period of time?

    You should be ASHAMED of yourself

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  • not cool dude. if she's a coworker and nothing more than it needs to stay in the workplace. it sounds to me like you're interested in her more than you're willing to admit. and yeah that's pretty rude and disrespectful to be texting her for an hour when your at home and your wife is there.

    ps. you're 11 years older than your coworker so maybe you should set an example and teach your younger coworker boundaries in the workplace.

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