My Ex and I have been apart for year and half. At first I really thought it was over for ever and I didn't have any regrets in that. It was over for good reasons. But as time went by, I started reminiscing about all the good times and how much I loved him and missed him. However it looked bleak with no hope. This past fall that hope revived, we started talking to each other which was good. Over the next two months we talked more and ended up together 4 times. I know ironic, but I didn't want to rush things or put any pressure on either of us. After a while it was apparent that we had to deal with the issues that separated us, and with our history being causal was just not going to work. Our first attempt at tackling this and I said something that really upset him, without meaning to. Addressing problems is not his strong suite and he instead pulled back. We've been civil to each other but he's retreated again and it's been over a month. 13 years together and I had good reason to leave, having this "fling" showed me that he does still have feelings and me too. Both of us have been very hurt but I love him and have come to realize that I don't want to be with anyone else. Advice on how I can get back with him?
Most Helpful Guy
I think you understand the situation well. You both have strong feelings for each other but the things that separated you have not been dealt with and they are very painful. Those things will keep coming up until they are dealt with. That might never happen if they require change that one or both of you don't want to make or don't see as needed. If keeping the relationship alive was not incentive enough to make the necessary changes, a possible reconciliation might not be either. Is there something you can do to meet him more than halfway? It's not really fair to be the one to do more than your share but nothing may develop otherwise.0