Apart from meeting friends, picking up a hobby/exercise how do I stop pining over the one that got away?

Basically what's above. I can't stop thinking about how I never made my move on time and she got tired of waiting around. what's worse is she's not with anyone else, which is umbelievable because she is like a hotter Kate Midleton, and she's cool and sarcastic and really fun to be around. I eventually worked up the nerve to tell her how I felt about things after months of tiptoeing around eachother but she wants to remain friends (friendzone city as usual).

How do I move on apart from all the stuff I mentioned in the main question? I'm not great at approaching women as I'm very shy so going out on dates isn't something I can just do like other guys! I know I need to work on the shyness but when I was with this girl all that didn't seem to matter, which leads me back to thinking what if all the time.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like your focus is almost more on yourself than on her. You've convinced yourself that if only you had spoken up sooner, everything would have worked out. You don't know that. In reality it probably wouldn't have happened anyway. Most initial attractions don't. You act as though you've gotten over a breakup that never happened. Your imagined future relationship with her probably was a major turn off to her.

    You got stuck in the infatuation stage. When a relationship is built on infatuation, there comes a time when one or the other wakes up and realizes that their love is a stranger to them. You should enjoy the infatuation yet try to see them in an objective light at the same time. That way you can know them for who they are and they can know you too. When someone is infatuated they are not themselves.

    • Thanks, everything youve just said makes complete sense to me! I suppose in time Ill forget about it!

    • Thank you! Bear in mind that she's a person. It could have worked out perhaps but there are many, many others that it can work out with too. This becomes easier as you get more experience. As for being shy, I wrote up my thoughts on the subject: link

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