What makes one ex different from another?

Why is it harder to get over some exes than others? I have been in two relationships. The latest was the hardest to get over since I didn't get closure. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to talk with my ex and gain closure, but in doing so...old feelings came back and now I find it difficult to move on once again. Is this normal?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, it is only natural for you to have feelings surface from a relationship that you have had with someone---especially if that relationship at one time was meaningful and long. And in getting closure, it can hurt even more because you realize it is truly over and the both of you will never be as one again. It brings back memories, which stay with us for a long time, making it hard to move on. But now that you have gotten what you want and need, lick your wounds and begin a new life without him. It is now a new year with a new beginning, and I know it seems like the hurt will never go away or that you will never be the same again or find anyone else to love or love you again, but you are sadly mistaken, sweetie. Time heals all wounds and by this, you have learned from your mistakes in this relationship, and it has also taught you valuable lessons for future relationships. This in itself will make you strong enough in time to "move on." Good luck.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It can be difficult to break up. It's losing someone who you were really close to. It's a similar process of grief to when someone dies. But it is more difficult to get closure and people tend to be less supportive. I being a man hardly ever tell my true feelings to friends or relatives because I don't want to appear lke a sissy.

    Sometimes it can take some time to get over someone, sometimes you might not be able to get over someone - but you can use this to your advantage. You are now more experienced and that makes you in a way more beautiful.


What Girls Said 2

  • you are ready to move on.

    *Sorry that I had to answer like this. I forgot that you only have so many characters when commenting… and it cut me off. :/ Then it wouldn't let me add another comment.

    But that's my advice to you. Grieve properly, don't completely shut out the feelings that you do have. Time heals all wounds. Just continue to live your life one day at a time, do things that you like, and don't look for love right now.

  • Yes, it's normal. Whenever my first ex broke up with me, I didn't give a crap. I was so happy. However, whenever my second ex broke up with me, I cried in front of him and still am having trouble getting over him. I think it depends on 1) How long you two were together, 2) If it was a good or bad relationship, 3) The personality of the person.

    You will move on eventually; either once you receive closure or whenever someone else enters your life and distracts you from the first. It's normal for old feelings to resurface. That's human nature. You remember all of the good memories and block out the bad ones in your mind.

    I know it's hard. Trust me, I've been there too. But things will get better. Someone will make you feel amazing again and someday, you will be with the right person forever.

    It's okay to grieve and resurface old memories. Just make sure that you continue to move forward in your life as well.

    • How do you move on from it though? I've tried dating...a couple have been really good...But I end things cause I think of my ex. The relationship was over all good. He treated me well most times but things ended when he left for afghanistan for over a year without saying good bye. He got in touch with me and apologized. He wants me to move on despite how he cares about me (he moved back home. NY, I'm in Cali). I just wish I knew how to move on.

    • Start by doing things that you like, that don't have to remind you of him. Go hang out with friends or get busy with a hobby. If you're busy, then you won't have time to think about him. It's OK to have a few quiet moments by yourself, where you look at old pictures or cry. It's not going to be easy; you are going to think about him. And that's okay. Just don't limit yourself to waiting on him.

      If your still into your ex, don't rush into another relationship. Take it slow until you feel like

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