Stuck at crossroads what to do next ?

Basically I had been with my girlfriend for nearly 8 years ,I'm 32 now so was 25 when we met, we had are ups and downs , like anyone else , but things got really messy, I suspected a couple of months back of seeing someone else,

I was really on to her about it, and eventually she broke up with me in November,and later I found out she had been seing someone else, I was hurt about obviously,but I'm not one of those needy types never asked her to come back ,

I have excepted the split , and am moving on , but part of me still loves her, I have looked over the last year , and I can honesty say I didn't give her much attention,and I'm mature enough to relisei contributed to the break up, she kept telling me , and I didn't listen , mainly as I have had a bad financial year and the pressure took its tole,

Any way she's been ringing and texting everyday , I have answered her but I'm not the same with her, I know she's suffering and I know she still loves me, I have talked to a few other girls , not for a rebound because I know it dosnt work , and I'm not desperate

And can wait , I don't know whether to try back with her or move on,

We also have a son

Good advice would be appreciate

I just stopped paying her attention and our sex life plummeted,it is vital to flirt with each other to keep the romance alive, I know she was trying but I think she just gave up , I was so caught up in the mess we where in ,
Thanks for your great advice , its always good to hear , lady's views on this, I had been with the women a long time , so I'm prepared to give it a shot , I know it won't be easy , she has been to see me today , and has through a few hints at me about getting back together,iI'm going to take it slow, and avoid talking about anything serious , just yet I just made it light and fun to take the edge of things, and also to show her I'm still a fun person,


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like life got in the way of your relationship. After 8 years together, you know this happens. You seem like a very mature lover in that you can empathize with the loneliness she felt. Is she as capable to empathize with the hurt she caused by straying?

    It seems the financial pressure made you switch off, which made her feel unloved. Perhaps you two could benefit from a frank discussion about ways in which you can support each other when you're in crisis.

    If you can get on the same page regarding both accepting responsibility in the situation, and are both committed to working together during a crisis, I would say give it another shot. It is great that you are not blinded by love for her. It is a better mind space to be in when making such a decision.

    Good luck!

    • Yes I think she is capable of empathizing and I do feel she feels guilty,but so do I , I wish I never let things slip, but neither of us can change this, but we can work on it , I don't just want to throw it all away, I know she still loves me and vise versa, thank you for your advice its much appreciated

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What Girls Said 1

  • She's always going to be in your life for two reasons: one, you love her and two, you have a son together. You also have two options, you can forgive and forget, and move on as a couple, or you can forgive and not forget and see other people. I have been cheated on more times than I can count, so I know the pain. Obviously, it hurt you and you separated. If there is an inkling of doubt in the back of your head that she could cheat again, I would say its not meant to be regardless if you have a son together or not. If, however you feel in your heart that she won't hurt you and you want to be with her, I'd say ease her back into your life and not rush anything. You have to think of your heart and happiness first.

    • Yes I totally agree and I'm not blinded by love for her , I'm starting to evaluate clearer,if I'm brutally honest I didn't make the same effort as I used with her making her feel heard, and also sexy , she would ask me regularly if was still attracted to her, and I would say yes because I have always been,

      Like I said in my post , the pressure of everything stopped me being myself, I used to regulary flirt with her and send her sexy txt messages,and are sex life was pretty healthy f

    • Then I say give her another shot with you as your true self. :-)

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