Is there another woman?

This guy and I have been dating for 2 months and things seem to be going really well.

Anyways, I went on his fb page the other day, just to see if he has posted anything lately. A girl posted a selfie on his page and had a smiley face comment that said, "feeling special". I looked up history and it appears he became friends with her not too long ago. I stalked her a bit and it says she is in a relationship. History on her timeline shows professional pictures (engagement photos? couples photos) with a man she is clearly in a relationship with. The pics are from July.

Why would a girl post something like this on a guy's wall? I can't think of a good reason as to why? (the selfie was taken back in March)...? She doesn't seem like the brightest crayon in the maybe it was on accident. Idk, I wonder if he is dating her as well? I'm afraid to ask him. I'm not trying to snoop on him. We are not in a committed relationship and haven't discussed it yet, but if he is seeing someone else, I feel like where him and I are, this is completely NOT okay.

In our relationship, we clearly really like each other. He hasn't told me he loves me yet, (I love him.) but I suspect he feels the same. We have a special bond and connection between us and genuinely enjoy each others company. Even some friends of mine have commented on the closeness between us.

I feel he might be hiding something though. I feel that either he loves me and wants to tell me (scared).. or... there's another woman that he isn't fessing-up about. If there is, I suspect I am his preference... but still. He's mentioned to me in the recently that he hasn't always been good at vocalizing feelings or being bold in regards to relationships.

This is hurting me really bad, but I don't know how to go about asking without it seeming like I'm snooping or keeping tabs on him. I hear from him daily, but not always. He is very introverted and enjoys his private time... so I try not to question his motive there. My friend who met him recently also made the comment that she couldn't believe the unspoken bond and comfort level she saw between us. She also said he had a special way of looking at me when I wasn't looking back. He always caresses my face and hands, and kisses me very tenderly. Maybe I'm confusing love with lust and he lusts me...?

When I'm with him, it seems hard to believe that he would have something going-on with another woman. We have something so special blossoming... but why in the world would some random girl post something like that, if he didn't mean something to her and vice versa?!

I understand if he is keeping his options open and isn't completely sure about me, but I feel like him and I are past the open to see others stage. Or he should be at least informing me that there's another woman.

Please respond with potential reasons why she would do that. What does your gut tell you? Is there another woman? :( He honestly doesn't seem like the type...but idk.
Btw, he didn't comment or "like" the pic she posted.

Her profile says in a relationship, but not who she's with. It's possible she's not still with him... but you'd think she would change the status.

Ugh. Thank you to those who were sensitive to my feelings and didn't talk to me like I'm some overly attached, insecure, man suffocating, pathetic person. This is anonymous, but believe it or not, the asker (me) is a human being. For the record, it is NOT too early for me to have fallen in love with him. The heart feels what it feels even though my head says, what is happening?! And by the way, I found out he was dating another woman. We talked and things are good. :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds to me that you are making much to much of this whole "Facebook farce", sweetie. Rather than imagine the worse or rack your pretty little brain about something that is probably nothing, talk to your sweetie pie about the "smiley face" comment and listen to what he has to say. If you care about him and you know he is not the cheating heart kind, then trust what he says and move on. It was probably nothing, this girl is probably in another relationship with some other Joe, and ten bucks says, your honey will probably just delete this chick from his Facebook totally, being he would see how it bothers you to have her on his friend list. Also, he is NOT HIDING his friend list, so apparently he has nothing to hide, so you have nothing to lose...TALK TO HIM. Even though he is introverted and likes his privacy, if you go about it in a diplomatic way, you will get more bees with honey than you will with vinegar.

    • Still, don't be so concerned about "her status", you don't really know. He is not hiding his friend list, and if he were, then I would be concerned.

    • Show All
    • Yep.The other woman was the smiley face one. I waited awhile so not to jump to conclusions, but then more evidence surfaced and I asked him. He admitted it, but also told me he couldn't be with her and she didn't have anything to offer long term. I was hurt of course and explained my pov. He was very receptive and admitted that the connection between us is off the charts, hence why I feel so much for him. His "hiding smthng" was being afraid of moving too quickly and repeating past mistakes.

    • I, in turn, was fooled by the "on the chart" Facebook friend list...Glad you got all of THIS FINALLY "out in the open."

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • First of all, your dating. You aren't committed so he isn't forced into anything wth you.

    Scond of all, Facebook has spammers all the time. Was it one of those pictures with 100 people tagged randomly?


What Girls Said 2

  • ok so here is my thoughts on this .. first of all she posted this pic directly to his page right ? maybe she sent it to ALL the friends she had on her page and it wasn't meant just for him . maybe you can look at some of her friends pages and see if she has posted the same picture on there page to . if so then I wouldn't worry about it at all.

    HOWEVER if she did just post it directly to him only then this is someone he talks to or she wouldn't have done that . just because he added her to his page not long ago don't mean he didn't already know her before that . Also if she is clearly in a relationship with someone I can tell you from experience that that' don't mean anything .. just cause she clearly has a man don't mean she might not be talking to yours as well " not saying she is but giving you something to think about"

    here are some signs of if he is talking to another girl in a way you won't like ..

    IF he deletes comments that you have made to him or on his photos that is a bad sign

    If he deletes comments left by this girl or any other girls that is a bad sign to .

    since your on his friend list why not post a pic of you on his page like she did and say something like can't wait to see you later or love being with you . something like that .. see if he deletes it or if anyone comments on it .

    OHH I have to ask to . on your boyfriends Facebook statues does it show he is in a relationship with you ? if not then why not? I think two months is a little soon to be expecting each other to be commited only to each other but if that's what you want then you need to make sure he is wanting that as well. I wouldn't jump on him about the Facebook thing just yet . but I would talk to him and see if he is seeing other people or if yall are exclusive .. there are ways to see where he stands with you without pushing him away or sounding jealous . just talk to him but don't bring up Facebook yet . if he tells you he is only seeing you then look more into this Facebook thing and I'm sure the truth will come out . and FYI you said he don't seem the type I thought that to about my ex and I was wrong .. anyone can cheat giving the right circumstances . just trust your self and don't let your feelings cloud your judgement

    • by the way if he is talking to other girls I wouldn't even consider that cheating . I mean you said your self yall are taking it slow and have not even had sex yet "nothing wrong with that" and don't just have sex with him to make him want you and only you it won't work like that . I would let this Facebook thing slide and just keep seeing him .if he is serious about you he will show it and if not you will no it . 2months is not that long . he prob is talking to others but that don't mean nothing

  • I think you are overly attached. He hasn't committed to you yet and you already say you love him. That doesn't mean he is so invested in you. Two months is a long time to not become exclusive especially if you are having sex.

    • We haven't had sex yet. Things have been growing slowly between us.

    • Well he could definitely be seeing other women. In my experience guys who really want a relationship will make it so within a few weeks of dating. A relationship isn't a marriage license. People act like becoming official may as well be the same thing and it is not.

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