Me and my husband are separated (not legally) and there is no plans in the future to reconcile. We have a 15 month old son together, he goes to school full time, and contributes when he cans to pampers and food, but I don’t pressure him for anything because I know he doesn’t have it and that he is focused on school. For the most part we get along. My problem is I’m now seeing someone seriously and my husband has found out via FB because one of his family members pointed it out, now he is acting like he has a say on who I’m with and who I bring around our child. Saying he wants to be there when I introduce our son to my boyfriend. Popping up all times of the night and day without calling like he is trying to see if my new boyfriend is there. I don’t know what to do. I want my son to have a relationship with his father but I don’t know how to go about setting up some rule and boundaries as to not upset my ex-husband. I don’t want him back were not good with each other. Any advice on how to handle this. Me and my new boyfriend are talking moving in with each other soon.
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I went through a similar scenario with my "now divorced" husband, but at the time, we were actually LIVING together when obtaining our divorce. I had my BIG bouts of problems with him while "separated"(call it what you may)and at he time, I was seeing someone on Facebook, and because of him, is why I had finally decided to divorce my husband. He controlled me in some ways, harassed me in others, and I didn't have another place to go because I could not afford to at the time. Bottom line is, although you both share a son together, and I assume you are not living together, YOU ARE going to have to set some boundaries with hubby or you will never have a life. I realize THAT in itself will be tough, but do it as diplomatic as you possibly can, because if you know him, like I knew my ex, it is like trying to keep a bubbling pot from boiling over...And even after you divorce, he will always think he has reins on you because of your son---and because he still thinks and always will, that you are still his "wife." My advice to you, for NOW, until you can afford a lawyer and make everything legal(and hopefully he complies..I had to do everything with kid gloves, and it wasn't easy, believe me!), is don't prance your new beau around like a show room pony, and whatever you do, DO NOT move in with him until everything is made legal, or your "hot headed hubby" will NEVER comply with anything but taking you to court to get custody of your son because he will try to prove you are an unfit mother and a whore(Remember, you are not even legally separated so in essence, you are still his wife). Things could escalate and get mighty ugly. Keep PRIVATE as much as you possibly can from him with your new found relationship "as to not upset him. " Why add fuel to the fire if you don't need to. Play it cool, don't be a fool. You also have to think of your son. In the meantime, if you ever want a future and some kind of life, make things legal as soon as you can, or your life will be made a living hell. It will be more of a reality to him if you get everything down on paper, and after awhile he will realize he doesn't "own" you anymore, and only has legal rights to your son---not to you. Good luck, sweetie.0