Without breaking up with my girlfriend how can I convince this girl to date me?

I been with my girl for 3 years now. I got with my current girl because she was cute small and I was in a dating lull. We also were both in healthcare so we had some common interest. We really ain't getting along all that well, everything leads to an argument and I think she may be spending time with other men. I don't even want to have sex with her anymore. However she is struggling with a illness in her family and I don't want to abandon her. I don't want to hurt her feelings period I would rather her break up with me so I don't feel guilty.

But about one year into dating with my girlfriend I met this chick who I like better than my girl. She's exactly what I was looking for fun playful just a joy to be around. Quiet, innocent... I tried to make a move on her many times, which I know was wrong, but she say we can only be friends. that she won't touch me while I am dating my girlfriend. We can hang out but she won't kiss etc. I think she friendzoned me but I want her I think she's perfect for me.

Without breaking up with my girl how do I convince this chick to date me. I been spending more time with her than my other girl. Struggling here...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Or just tell her what you told us here and give her the choice to decide if that's something she is willing to do.

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    • i told her all that. she won't buy it. She said she doesn't want to be put second and she would rather I fully finish something first. I keep trying to pull out emotions of her but she says stuff like life is too short to wait for anyone and that I want to have my cake and eat it too. She's a true challenge which makes me push harder

    • So, there you have it..she's not GONNA fall for the b.s...

      Seems to me if "u can't love the one you want, love the one you with"

      Until, well you start resenting her, and your anger forces you to call it quits..good luck

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What Girls Said 5

  • if you really think she's spending time with other guys and you guys aren't getting along and you keep fighting, then why wouldn't you assume she thinks the same. maybe she's trying not to hurt you. anyways you're not helping her by lying. its just disrespectful. of you want out then be an adult- not a coward and be honest. it doesn't sound like somthing you want to stay in, so break up.

    i think fdeep din its because you're afraid to leave. afraid you'll balo ne. and youreusing the veil of not wanting to hyrt her as an as an excuse.

    you git with your girlfriend because you didn't want to be alone, and that's why you're not leaving. its not because of her feelings. if you truly cared about her you'd be telling her you want to break up. NOT trying to figure out how to cheat on her.

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  • You both will continue to have more arguments, rather than understanding and more communication because your not fully committed to the relationship.

    Your mind is distracted on another woman.

    You are also showing, you have no respect not only for the woman you first met, but also the one that makes you happy for now... most of all your not respecting yourself.

    If you cared for both of them as human beings, then let them both go. And find out what it is about yourself that makes you happy, your favorite hobbies, your likes & dislikes, secure within, what you have to offer a woman, ETC...

    Are you wanting to just play the field, or do you have what it takes to be a partner in a committed relationship?

    Which ever you choose, being honest is always the best solution.

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  • You HAVE to break up with your girlfriend. Also, respect this other girls morale to not want to get physical or emotional with someone unavailable. If I were your girlfriend, it would be wayyyy worse to find out you were cheating on me behind my back while sick rather than just growing a pair and breaking up with me.

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  • *why* would you want to not break up with your girlfriend before dating this girl? You're obviously unhappy in your relationship…why stay in it?

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    • A few reasons... I don't want to hurt her. I hate to make her upset with her situation. I think she still needs me. I don't want to see her with anyone else. It would suck to not be able to talk to her still. I'm not trying to be a dog about it. I care about her more as a friend...

    • "I'm not trying to be a dog about it." Well, guess what? You are. Big time. Dating a new girl while maintaining a relationship with your current girlfriend is NOT the way to go about it. If you truly cared about her, you would realize that.

  • You can't. Any normal girl doesn't like a cheater!

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What Guys Said 1

  • You could lie to her and pretend you broke up with your girlfriend, but it's wrong and will come back to bite you in the end.

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    • yea thought about that one man

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