Sad to say, I took my ex boyfriend back. We went out for a month two years ago and he broke it off. He couldn't commit. I was heartbroken. Within those two years he didn't talk to me and pursued girls in front of me.
I was in a new relationship and he said he regretted letting me go. When my relationship ended, He apologized to me last year, regretted acting like a jerk and that I didn't deserve it. I forgave him and took him back because I'm in love with him. Not everyone agreed with my decision.
Now he treats me with love, respect and is the best he's ever been. We're great and the relationship is wonderful. He told me that he's in love with me too.
But those feelings of hurt and pain I felt when he ignored me and went to other girls before we got back together, they always resurface. I can't help it. I feel sad from time to time and therefore can't completely feel happy with him because of what he did.
Please someone help me! I'm very depressed, what do I do? My heart wants me to be with him but my head is reminding me of the past.
Most Helpful Girl
Wow, yeah, this is difficult...I'd say, you have to be very honest with both him and yourself. Have you told him that you're still resenting him for those things? If he is really in love with you, you should be able to tell him. Plan ahead though. Pick a time when you're both relaxed and somewhere comfortable. Maybe write it out on a notepad so you know exactly what you want to say. This way you can edit not just what you want to say but how. You don't want to just blow up at him out of the blue.
Also, ask yourself what you expect out of it. Do you just want him to say he's sorry or would you want a more public apology? Is there a behavior you want him to change? Is this your litmus test for whether he really loves you?
In a way the last question answers itself. If he reacts defensively, I'd still give him a bit of time, even if you think things might go downhill. Give him a chance to get comfortable with the info. Even if you present your side calmly he might feel attacked. If can't seem to see your side at all and just throws out something like "Well, get over it, I'm with you now, aren't I", I'd seriously re-consider the relationship...IMHO:)