When your control freak ex still runs your life!

So I just got out of a relationship with a complete control freak two months ago. This guy ran every aspect of my life for a year until one situation he tried to force me into made me walk out the door. I met him in Michigan where I'm originally from but soon after we (he) decided we wanted a relationship I moved to Paris with him then we moved to Key West. When I left the relationship I moved back to MI but he insisted that I keep the house in KW and I didn't mind at all because it's absolutely beautiful! I traveled from KW to Mich trying to move some stuff back in the house excited about my new life but my ex kept blowing my phone up every single day, just asking me questions that didn't concern him anymore. So something told me to sell the house because this was his way of still having a hold on me. I informed him that I was selling it and he yelled at me calling me an Ungrateful Bitch, then after a few days passed he called back to say he would help me sell if I needed him (he didn't even apologize for calling me names)

So I'm in KW trying to sell and my ex just keep calling asking.. Do I need help? Do I need a contractor? Do I need his Real Estate friend? Do I need the blueprints? And to be honest I do need help and definitely the blueprints. I don't want his help but I have no idea how to sell a house and he has all the connections and experience.

Should I let him help me? Do you think he will be on his best behavior? He's been nice to me over the phone lately but I'm afraid it won't last long. He wants to come down here soon to bring me the blueprints, would this be a mistake?
3 days after I posted this, my ex came to KW unexpected and was upset that I had a realtor looking at the house without telling him. This psycho yelled at me in front of the realtor and told the realtor I made a mistake and that I don't need her help. I was so pissed off he embarrassed me like that, I thought we could be on a friendship level but now he blew it. So I changed my number and emails and will be looking for another realtor and doing this on my own. Thanks for the advice!


Most Helpful Guy

  • It may turn out to be a mistake. There are professional real estate agents that would love to have your business and can get whatever documents you need to sell the house. A lot of people tell others when they are in an abusive relationship to end the relationship. But this doesn't always keep that person from continuing to abuse and harass you. The real goal should be to end the abuse. Going no contact or in your case going minimal contact until you get this business of selling the house over with is the best way to go. Tell him just to communicate through email until this is over, then move on with your life.

    • Hey, thanks for the BA. I read your update. It's a common tactic for a controlling person to try and intimidate, and humiliate, among other things. Dealing with these types is hard, especially when they pull a stunt like your control freak ex did. Stay focused, even with the setback, and do what you think is the right thing to do. I'd definitely look to cut ties with this guy as soon as you can. Best of luck to you in all aspects of your life.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • just go though a realtor to sell the house, you don't need the blueprints. the sooner such a person I out of your life the better

    • Thanks. He told me I needed the blueprint and to call him when I get a realtor and he will come to KW to make sure "I won't get taken advantage of because I know the value of the house and you know nothing about this real estate business" (his exact words), and he's right I don't know anything about selling a home. But I can't tell if he's being sincere or being a trickster to get me back. He's cunning that way.

    • doesn't matter if he is being sincere or not, look at your past interactions with him. a good realtor won't screw you or anything. I sold a house and know people who have sold houses and you don't need a blue print. he just wants back in your life

  • " His way of still having a hold on me " yes , that's the answer , make the realtor the 3rd party go between and watch out for when he calls that he had a accident , and " Needs " you etc ;)

    • Lol, OK. I will.

    • @ update = He was trying to regain control of you , to establish his high position over you, again .The 3 rd party will fix him , that's why he did what he did. Get used to him getting one up on you , fucking you around and then getting you back , stalking etc , advice = get a new BIG boyfriend to kick his ass ;)

What Girls Said 3

  • You can learn these things. Call up a friend or go to a church and have a talk with the pastor, or ask online on yahoo answers about it. If you get 6 people giving you the same answer you will know it' true. Selling a house isn't complex or difficult at all. He just wants you to believe it is so you will go back to him. Don't take the bait. He will find some way to lure you back in.

    • Thanks allot. He's been super nice lately but I have a feeling he will blow up again. I really do feel so helpless. He took care of me all that time and I'm trying to learn how to take care of myself again.

  • Sounds like this guy uses manipulative ways to get what he wants, especially you. He calls you a bitch then turns around and offers help to sell the house?! He's probably a rich and powerful jerk thinking of anything and everything to get you back so don't fall for it! I say keep the house, change your number, emails, etc. and enjoy waking up to a beautiful ocean view every morning. Or maybe rent the house so you can extra $ in your pocket. He thinks you need him, show him otherwise.

  • Can you just let him sell the house by himself? If you don't want to deal with him, make it clear, be civil, and try to explain that you just want to end the relationship and get the house sold.

    • Well he signed over the deed and everything to me but I think it's a plan to get me back so I'm selling, even tho I really want the house. And plus the day he called me an ungrateful bitch he threatened to come to KW and take the house back but now he's been talking SUPER nice to me and even sent a text the other day wishing me "good luck on my new life" and that's NOT like him.

Recommended myTakes