Ever felt guilty for dumping your ex?

Have you ever felt guilty after breaking up with someone? Guilty about hurting them and putting them through the pain and suffering of rejection?

I'm not asking if you regret doing it, but rather just feeling guilty about it. However if your regret for the break-up causes you to feel the guilt, that still counts.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yup. I feel guilty after I break up with anyone at all. Even if it's for good reason. Nobody wants to be told that they're not good enough. It's horrible, I'd almost rather string them along knowing there's no future which is just selfish because it will hurt them either way.

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    • I do not see someone breaking up with me as saying I am not good enough. Nah..I have only been broke up with once in my 43 years and I never thought it was about me-cause it wasn't. That is on them. Doesn't make me feel less worthwhile if someone does break up with me--it's their loss. Self esteem is a great thing,I wish more people had it.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Here's what I did which did cause some guilt after I did it. It was just an LDR only one in person meeting but then a LONG time chatting, flirting, crazy about each other. But long story short, I could not handle the distance and worried about other women since he seemed so flirty. When I saw another lady post a pic of him with her on Xmas Eve with his kid, well I took that to mean he had someone else.

    I did not say a thing, did not tell him it hurt me, just BLOCKED him within minutes of that picture being posted.

    After more than 2 years of knowing each other, I feel guilty now for doing that in a moment where I was hurt. I don't how he took it, but he obviously knew I blocked him... I unblocked him like 8-9 days later but that unfriended him so he never said a word to me ever since.

    I realize that was cold but I figured if he really cared enough, or if I was important enough, he'd find some way to try and talk to me again, if not, oh well, no more being hurt over the situation for me. I had to put a stop to the ups and downs. I don't think he understands that and probably hates me now, or thinks I had someone else.

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  • Breaking up with someone is not rejecting them. You dated them, were in a relationship with them, so you did not reject them. Guilty just means you have a soul and are not heartless. You understand you are usually hurting someone when you break up with them.

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  • No absolutely not. I have a rule that I never get back together with someone. Of one of you decides to end it its done. So I've usually agonised over the decision for weeks or months until I'm absolutely sure. If its totally not working you have to let them find happiness with someone else, not string them along

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  • Yeah it tormented me for about 6 months after because I'm not sure I made it clear enough as to why I broke up with him. But then again, he made me feel like a piece of crap for the majority of our relationship so I guess an eye for an eye.

    Usually if you feel guilty it just means you are a genuinely sensitive person and that you hate hurting people. But what is worse, to stay with someone when it obviously isn't working just to save them from the pain of a break up or hurting them temporarily and letting them move on.

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  • Yep. It was my first relationship and we both had really intense feelings for each other and I loved him a lot. But, we were in a long distance relationship, and because of my lack of trust in him (or in people in general), I didn't think it was fair of me to put him through that. Told him, I would give it some time, maybe in the future we could possibly develop something, once I have everything figured out with myself, but right now, we would be better off as friends. And we are (:

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  • Yeah! I walked out my boyfriend of 13 years. Because it wasn't right anymore and didn't love each other the same. The next year the guilt was terrible I felt awful and had real hard time feeling selfish. We got back together partly I think to make my guilt stop. It didn't work!

    You can't stay in a relationship that is not right for you. If you loved them once then you probably hate hurting them but it just can't be helped. They will be ok!

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  • Yes

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  • Nope. I broke up with him for a reason

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    • Such an insightful comment. Especially the clarification of that 'reason'.

What Guys Said 4

  • Yes of course. In my opinion, if you don't feel some type of guilt after a break up, that means you never cared for the person in the first place, whatever the rational reasons for the break up might have been.

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  • Nope because I never dumped a girl because they were caught cheating and apparently its my fault for catching them cheating. Really cool

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  • Nope all of mine were mutual so there were no hard feelings.

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  • I have a few times yes. It is better than the pain that will be met in the future.

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