Why make me a side chick?

I feel so naive and ignorant. I dated this really sweet guy for five months to learn that he has a girlfriend. But he was still with me after he got with her. He disappeared on me, making excuses that he was busy working and hardly had time to relax. Its just...why would he do such a thing when I treated him so well? I'm not interested in sloppy seconds.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I had a similar experience for a year, sweetie, so I can relate..I was a booty call, a convenience, and just a trophy wife figure, who he could take off the shelf whenever I needed "dusting". He always said he loved me, but actions DO always speak louder than "minced words"...He rarely text, (calling was almost NEARLY NEVER)only when he was feeling lonley or frisky, and always the ol' excuse that he was busy, that his "10-12 hour an hour night job" was leaving him little time for anything else, but yet, when he was not seeing me, he had plenty of time to fit in his best bud and other potato heads, and Arabic like himself..I was just a small fragment of his circle, being an American and he could be "comfortable and cozy' with me when he felt the urge...I felt ignorant and ignored, and took him back a few times when he would screw up royally( Mind you, he was good in the beginning, but then he started taking me for granted and my love and goodness). This one holiday, which was New Years, I put lover lips to the test, and at the stroke of midnite, he failed miserably. No New Year text, no call to say "Happy New Year!" The day after New Year's Day, at 3:11 AM, when he knew I was sleeping, the "text of all texts" came in, almost like an obligation, so I let two days go by and text him back, probably making him feel like the heel I knew he was all along. He got the hint. Put it to him diplomatically, was the best way with a nerd like this. I didn't hear anything back, so FINALLY, I HAD hit a nerve with the nerd. He didn't even have the goalies to explain himself or even apologize. That time, I knew he and I were through, and do you know why? Because his best bud was his "main drain", not me..He was MORE into him than he was ever me, and I also finally realized, that at the stroke of midnite that nite, he was probably "stroking another', and I don't mean GIRLS, either...You are right in forgetting this dud, and right---"NO SLOPPY SECONDS"---or SECOND HAND TREATMENT neither. You deserve much better. These type are sporadic, unpredictable and emotionally unstable in committing in a long term relationship. Believe me, they are MORE into themselves, than they are into you. In my case, my vagabond was MORE into GUYS, than into GIRLS.

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    • I'm so sorry that happened to you. :(

    • Show All
    • Wait, so you were seeing a guy who was seeing someone else, or many others while you were married? or are still married? That just doesn't make any sense to me...

    • Yes, but ONLY THE COPTIC...not others...back in 2012, I was having a few issues with mu husband and the Coptic had found me on a dating site I had not deleted from the past. I had been feelings mixed up, confused, unloved, thought my husband's family didn't want me, knew Egypt was getting worse(you probably heard all about the protests and Morsi last summer), and I think I used the Coptic in case I would never see my hubby again. It was a weird situation. I fell for him, loved 2 me.

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What Guys Said 4

  • ". Its just...why would he do such a thing when I treated him so well?"

    Why would you stay after finding out?

    Finding something like that sucks, but staying is all on you.

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  • Unfortunately you discovered the hard world... he probably loved you but... why do relationships fail? Sometimes simply because you have a diffucult time in your relationship and a coincidence makes one of you meet someone else in those hard days.

    One thing he should have done is being honest with you right away. Or asking you to forgive him if he had made a stupid mistake going with the other girl while he realized you were the love of his life.

    Try to overcome your silly feeling, meet someone else and discover happiness again!

    I'll post you a friendship request. Hope things will be fine soon :-)

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  • We always go for the more (physically) attractive girl.

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  • he clearly manipulated you into thinking he was single. he wants to have his cake and eat it too. just leave this jerk and move on

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What Girls Said 2

  • Because he's a douche player. Screw him, move on and find someone who will appreciate how awesome of a girlfriend you are.

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    • Hi, Glitterberryalisa..Anyways, long story short, if you read "my story here," my Coptic proved to be less than I had desired, and my Muslim husband and I have a stronger relationship now than ever. I am going back again this year to be with him, making plans for Dubai as he is trying to get a work permit and visa there.We are trying for our future together.

  • You just met a dude who doesn't give a fuck. It doesn't matter how good of a woman you are, he's selfish and wanted 2 chicks at once. that's why he made you a side chick. he didn't give a fuck about you or how you feel, he was just interested in getting his needs met.

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