Cheating, do you forgive and forget?

I'm on the fence about a guy. He cheated on his last girlfriend 5 times. She was studying abroad at the time, they had been dating for 5 years. I don't know if it was 5 different girls or 5 times with one girl, I don't really want to ask. Even though he came clean with her, it sounds bad. Have you gone back to a cheating boyfriend? Would you date a guy who has cheated? Guys, have you cheated and still felt you loved the girl you cheated on? Did you try to get her back or move on?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • As a guy, I have never cheated and do not find it that hard to stay faithful. I fully appreciate that a woman wants to be with me, and I show her the utmost respect. On the other side of this, I was once married and my wife cheated on me with my best friend. More recently, a girl swore to me on everything that was holy that she would be faithful. That only lasted until her ex boyfriend got back in town about 6 months later. I knew both of them had cheated on their ex's, but they both reassured me that they would not do that to me. I found out that someone who cheats is some of the lowest form of scum on the earth. They always say that its in the past, that they won't do it again, but they do. No matter what they say, don't believe them. Someone who cheats on their partner has no problem telling lies. My advice is to get away from this guy before he does it to you. Another thing I learned, the more they cheat, the more they learn to cover it up. He may have already cheated on you and you don't even know. Best of luck to you.

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What Guys Said 18

  • if you cheat on me and I find out, relationship is ending that same second and I'm burning all bridges/ locking all doors.

    i don't see why its so hard for one to stay loyal to one other person if you can't do this simple task. then there nothing to continue

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  • I'm probably going to get a lot of flak for this one...it's up to you which you think is worse...but men and women typically cheat in different ways, and for different reasons...us guys it's usually a spur of the moment thing, when either we're drunk, or our hormones are just getting the better of us, and it's someone who is too weak to control it...depending on the guy it is possible to immediately have regret for it...I got drunk and cheated on a girl one time, and honestly I think it bothered me more than her (she repeatedly cheated on me, though she never confessed to it)...girls on the other hand it's usually because they feel like they aren't getting something they want from their man...and they look for it elsewhere...it's deliberate and intentional...and in my experience if caught will try to come up with any reason she can to justify it, or try to make it out to be the guys fault, and if she ever feels any remorse for it it's way later on. As far as weather or not to forgive...that would be on a case by case basis...if I really love the girl and we've been together for a while, I might could if I feel she genuinely feels remorse...but I would not trust her

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  • I was cheated on multiple times and honestly, I will never go back to a cheating girlfriend again. This girl cheated on me at a really bad time in my life and I gave her another chance and she cheated on me with a different guy. She still denies cheating to this day I am sure. After I argued with her some more I had enough when she told me that she could cheat on me and I would never even know.

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  • I tell any girl that I date the following:

    "You know where the door is; you can walk away at any time, and I won't stop you. I want you to be with me because you WANT to, not because you feel obligated to. Having said that, also know this: that's a one-way door, so if you walk out, or cheat, then you might as well just keep going, because there are no second chances with me."

    I don't cheat, and I don't tolerate cheating. In most things, I'm pretty laid back and easy going, but a few of my limits are HARD limits, and that is one of them.

    I've never had a girl cheat on me either since I started having that talk with girls; I guess they can tell by the look on my face and the tone of my voice that I'm serious, because I *know* they believed me. I've even heard some of them talking about it to their friends.

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    • wow you sound exactly like my boyfriend. very laid back but straight to the point about certain things, no bullshit. lol I think more people should be this way

    • That's exactly it. By BEING direct and clear about things that are important to me, I CAN be laid back, because I don't have to worry or stress about my relationship, or WONDER about my girl and what's going on. It also makes her feel much more secure and comfortable in the relationship, and eliminates most of her insecurities, which makes the relationship even better.

      I wouldn't have it any other way.

  • A lot depends on what their relationship was before she left. If they were just casually dating, she had no right to expect him to be monogamous while she was gone.

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  • Guys and girls who cheat will always cheat again in the future.

    It is a psychological issue that they cannot stop doing. They may regret it later (which is why he came clean after the fact), but when the opportunity presents itself, they cannot stop themselves at that moment.

    Ever wonder why a person who spent 10 years in jail for rape, gets out of jail, and within 24 hours, rapes again? It is the same phenomenon you see where people can't stop: shoplifting, flirting, murdering, raping, beating their wives/children...etc. The degrees of the offense range, but the psychological basis is the same. They simply cannot stop doing it.

    If you can accept a life with him knowing he will sleep with other women behind your back, then by all means get back with him. There are some people willing to have a permanent 3-4some relationships these days.

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  • Well he will cheat on you when the opportunity arises. So you just need to answer for yourself are you OK with being cheated on? If your answer is yes then stay with him. If your answer is no, move on as quickly as you can.

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  • Forgive, sure.

    Forget, nope.

    Stay with her? Hell no.

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  • I would always forgive them but in all cases I'd move on instantly, the exception being if a child was involved. Then amd only then would I ever try to forget and lend a second chance.

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  • Don't forgive and move on!! Cannot love someone I don't trust.

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  • I wouldnt date a girl who has cheated

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  • My first realationship my gf cheated on me so I did it back.
    But idk it started a vicious cycle an yeah dated two years an found out she got tore back wasted one night an I walked in on 5guys on my ex gf..yeah no not doing it's again

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  • I would not trust a girl who cheated in past relationships unless I knew she sincerely loved me unlike her past boyfriends. It's a toughie.

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  • If she's the one, i will forgive but i'd cant forget

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  • Never forgive!!

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  • Some time forgive

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  • No I would forgive the person the first time but I probably wouldent for get it

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  • Only a loser with zero (0), none, nadda, nil, 1-1 = 0 self esteem would go back to someone who cheated on them. I wouldn't forgive or forget.

    You don't love the person you cheated on. That's one of the lowest forms of disrespect you can do.

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What Girls Said 15

  • Sweetie, I can sum this whole "cheat sheet" up in a nutshell: "THREE STRIKES---NOT 5 TIMES---AND YOU'RE OUT!"

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  • I would never go back to a cheating boyfriend. If he feels like sleeping with some other chick is more important than staying faithful to me, then good riddance. And no, I would never date a guy who's cheated. I would not forgive nor forget. Cheating is pathetic.

    I strongly advise you not to do anything with this guy.

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  • Tried to work things out with my ex-husband because we had a kid. Didn't work. Much happier without him. Will never even consider taking back a cheater again. I'm more than happy to forgive them and I won't stay mad at them forever -- but we aren't going to be together anymore.

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  • Oh boy. I did. We were madly .. well... madly IN LUST with each other. I could not let him go since the sexual chemistry was on fire every time between us; hot and heavy pounding and sweaty sex; and passionate kisses... but my heart became torn and I began to fall apart emotionally!... It's insane. Don't go there: GET OUT NOW! >>>>RUN!

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  • I was taught to have some dignity, but I was taught to forgive...so I forgive BUT DO NOT EXCEPT ME TO GO BACK WITH YOU! I WILL NEVER EVER GO BACK TO THE SAME PERSON! I was taught to move on and moving on I shall...I deserve a better man and respect

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  • I would date a guy who cheated, so long as it was a one of thing and he felt horrible about it. I would be wary though. I would never go back to a guy who cheated on me.

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  • I don't worry about forgiving nor forgetting, I just walk away. Not wasting my time in asking myself if that person should be forgiven. You cheated? OK bye don't need an explanation. I just need to walk away and worry about me.

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  • I've never been cheated on or dated someone who had cheated in the past, but based on what I think, it would depend for me. The thing about this situation is that he did it multiple times. I tend to be a little more forgiving of one-time affairs as long as the person truly regrets it afterward, but someone who repeats the offense obviously doesn't. Being in a long-distance relationship is not an excuse to cheat. If you don't want to stay faithful, end the relationship. I would be wary of a guy who cheated multiple times, even if it was on someone else. However, it's a bonus that he was honest with you about it. And I suppose it depends partly how long ago all this happened.

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  • Yep and never again. Stay far away, it's not like this happened once it was lots of times

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  • did he ever feel guilty about what he has done to her?

    always, the dump forgives and forgets,

    the cleaver forgives but not forgets.

    I would never forget what people has done to me

    he broke my heart and yes that's it he broke my heart, cannot do both forgive and forget,

    You can't have your cake and eat it

    I ve been cheated on once and I decided off the hook cut all the strings, otherwise you would just get deeper and deeper, though I still like him so.

    but on the other hand, I dun know if I would date someone has cheated on their partner before, I really have no clue

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  • Once a cheater always one

    I won't be able to do it

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  • Forgive. - Dump. - Never Forget

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  • No I don't tolerate cheating.

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  • No I wouldn't

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  • I once cheated myself because I was angry at my boyfriend. We've been together for 5 years as well. He was drinking a lot and went out real late, sometimes not returning. Then I saw pictures on Facebook of him hanging out with girls at parties. I got angry, thought he was cheating and started fucking my coworker just to get back at my boyfriend. Apparently he didn't cheat and forgave me because he wasn't being good to me either. It was kinda rocky at that time, but but we were strong enough to get through it together.

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