Spent 4 years liking this one girl, but is it worth moving for her?

We've liked each other for 4 years and I can quite honestly say I'm head over heals for her.

I've told her and it does seem she reciprocates the feelings, but she is refraining from showing them because of one thing: Distance.

I live in London and her in Paris, and it seems the only way we can manage to be a couple is if I move to her or she moves to me - something that it quite impossible at the moment due to University.

Anyway, I would just like to point out that she has been telling me she doesn't want to risk long distance - which I can agree on because of the lack of intimacy, contact, trust, etc ...

But 5 weeks ago after this girl I was dating broke things off with me, the French girl contacted me and suddenly tells me this:

"You know when I first found out you were seeing some other girl I was seriously hurt. I've been waiting for you all along".

If she wasn't ready to be with me because of the distance, why would she even say this?

What needs to be done?
I'm really hoping to get the advice of the Experts here on GAG ... it's a really difficult matter.
I've got my own car, so there's always a possibility of me driving there.


Most Helpful Guy

  • paris to london is a bit of a distance but not entirely insurmountable.

    She said that because she's simply being honest. I imagine she wants you to know how strongly she feels for you and the hope that you two can somehow be together.

    I don't htink you should quit university or anything like that but I think you should figure out ways to make it work since you two have been close for four years. How much longer do you have left in university? is she in school?

    • We're both a University right now.

      The good thing is in the UK we can chose to do a Foundation Year- which I'm doing at the moment - and after it you can go to pretty much any University so long as you pass the exams.

      Now I could go to a Parisian University if I wanted.

      I don't know whether the best would be to tell her or just go there and surprise the living guts out of her :P

      If she does feel so strongly about me why is it so hard to tell me? Why does she hide her feelings?

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    • Yeah I thought she might of been scared of telling me up front. I know she's worried about how things might turn out and how long it might last for.

      We haven't spoken for a while now - since the beginning of the Christmas holidays - because we've been spending time with our families and revising for exams.

      I can tell you that I felt exceptionally vulnerable when I told her how I felt, but I didn't get rejected.

      All I really ask from her is to be a little bit more honest.

    • well you can tell her that. just tell her you really happy she told you how she felt about her feeligns with you dating another girl. You love how honest she was and think it is a great quality in a partner and something you'd hope to have with a gf

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  • Paris-London is close enough you should be able to spend a couple weekends a month together. While that's long distance, its enough to give it a shot for a while.

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    • To be honest I don't know what she means by "risk" ... it's more of a risk not taking a chance at a possible couple. If we don't get together, the memory of "maybe it would've worked"and "what ifs" would be in our heads for the rest of our lives.

      I want her so badly ... I've waited years for her to tell me how she feels and years more to be with her.

  • How about taking the Eurostar and meeting her, to see if it's not just infatuation ?

    And if you get along in real life, doing it for a few months, and then eventually seeing if there is enough to make the leap of faith ?

    • I'm a student, money doesn't grow on trees for me.

      She invited me to her Prom in June last year and we an incredible time. We slept together on 3 of the 5 nights I was there and her friends couldn't stop telling me how much she talks about me and how I should take care of her.

      I don't think it's infatuation any more, I think it's a lot more than just that.

    • Well get some money to do it then. Find a part time job, sell a kidney, I don't know. But don't move for a woman if you haven't dated her for a while. And internet is not dating.

      I'm just saying that, because I was dating someone recently, medium distance (week-ends only) she was so in love, had talked about me to everybody she knew, everything seemed to be perfect, until the first argument, and it all went down the sink very quickly. So only time together tells.

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