How soon is too soon to move on

My ex girlfriend recently broke up with me after an 8 month relationship. Without getting into to many details she was pretty selfish and uncaring about it so it hurt pretty bad. (Still does actually). That was less than a week ago. I just got a text from a buddy telling me he thinks she is back on Match.com, which is where we met in the first place. I went on and checked it out and well there she is. To me that seems awfully quick to be putting yourself out there again. Our relationship was serious and we had been talking about her and her son and I all moving in together in the future. How should I feel about this? Any comments?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi,

    This is just a thought, I wonder if she is also upset over the break up and going back on line is her way of coping with it by chatting to other people or men so it takes her mind off it. If she does end up finding someone new on there it may just be a rebound relationship and they very rarely work out.

    If you thinking of maybe getting back with her one day, then disappear from her radar for a week or two and don't answer her text or calls, she will wonder about you when she had some alone time and when she does that's when she will contact you, this is when you need to be strong and not reply for a while. What you need to do is keep busy, be with friends and when your ready address what went wrong with the two of you and be clear in your head of your answer because if/when she does contact you, you will be in a better place to answer and make things clear as to what you want.

    Ask yourself this...at the end of the relationship was she still the same girl you fell for or had she changed.

    I hope this helps a little for you, All the best and keep smiling.

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    • I believe that is good advice and I believe I have adhered to it,. I have not contacted her at all since the break up and even though she will realize I saw her profile on Match I said nothing. Unfortunately her behavior over the last week of our relationship and since then has been so calous and uncaring I really don't see how it could be fixed. If she can just "turn of" her love for me at any moment I am not sure I want to wait around to see it happen again

    • Then it sounds like her behaviour and feelings are uncaring like you say.

      You deserve much better than that in your life. So when your ready to you will start looking again and find the one that truly deserves you.

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What Girls Said 3

  • GET OVER HER! she has and so should you. you sound like a nice guy, there are girls that will appreciate you. And are you sure that she was as serious as you are about the relationship. I dated a guy and he was way more into me than I was into him, and I didn't have the heart to hurt him. I broke up with him, and he still talks to me about getting back together. Don't waste you time on this girl.

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  • Could be she's doing it to avoid hurting herself. It's so terrible the way we can't talk and just be honest and then all of this pain and confusion follows. I don't think that assuming she's happy or forgotten you is realistic honestly.

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    • I agree with what your saying. However acting indifferent and uncaring and frankly just mean isn't OK either

    • Show All
    • Are you saying you think she is hoping I will be there for here still, even after her bad behavior?

    • Maybe I'm not normal lol but even when I did the breaking up I still hurt, and I did it because he hurt - most of the very few times I went silent, or reacted in some way that could have been as hurtful, it was because the guy hurt me first. My question is, during the relationship when and why was she being difficult? I am trying to see where her head is at.

  • Everone is different just don't compare your circumstances with others. I've always taken a few months personally.

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What Guys Said 1

  • People move on at different paces. For me its when I can finally accept that the relationship is over and I'm no longer judging people based off of prior relationships. If she broke it off with you for instance in her mind the relationship may have been over months ago and this is when she chose to break it off. Take the time you need. But be social and re-establish your trust in women. Make some friends but don't go looking for a new relationship.

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