Help! I need an objective opinion. Am I right to feel hurt and pissed?

My ex girlfriend acted like she wanted to get back together. She did this by frequently calling me and texting me acting like everything was cool. Then she said stuff like I think I made a big mistake you are the most amazing guy ever and I fucked it up. I am really truly sorry and I have a lot apologize for. So I met up with and she kissed me. Then as we were talking she said I had to be careful what I texted her. I asked why and she said she was still technically dating the guy she left me for. My face dropped and I said its him or me. She said it wouldn't last with him. She wanted to just meet up and fuck me. I was really upset by this. We were in a ltr for almost a year. We were engaged, her son called me dad, we practically lived together. I said I couldn't go from that to being friends with benefits especially since she was still with the guy she left me for. I said I wouldn't be physically intimate with someone who wouldn't commit to me. I asked her to go out on a date with me and she I don't know maybe. This pissed me off and I accused her of leading me on. She said she wasn't. Then a few days later she tells me she's engaged to the other guy. So I say so you were leading me on. If that's the case then I see no reason for us to see each other again and shouldn't have any contact. I said I was sick of her playing immature mind games, lying, drama etc. So am I right to be mad about this or am I overreacting?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Over reacting? No. You are right as right can be. Sometimes you need to take a back seat for your own safety, and In this case you should do exactly as you said and just stop every and anything to do with her. Even if she comes running back to you, you push her as far away as you can. This is one instance where being selfish would be a good thing, think of your own well being and your own future, someone who truly loves you would never put you through that shit. You'll find someone better, so don't even worry about her my friend, don't even allow her to further mess you up by being in your brain. Take her off like an old shirt and throw it away, there are lots of better brand new ones available :)

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Thanks for setting me straight. Ur right no one who even cared about someone never mind loved them would do stuff like that. I was right all along she was just leading me on and playing mind games. So I was right to tell her to get the fuck out of my life.

    • You're very welcome :) I feel like I could give you a high five! You got this, you'll look back at the way she treated you and laugh because you know all that she missed out on and she'll figure it out sooner or later too...her loss! You'll find someone better :)

    • Thank you for BA :) Cheers!

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What Girls Said 3

  • You sound like a stand up guy. A real guy. You have values that you believe in. She does not meet your high standard. YES, it's normal to feel 'angry' that she is so confused and playing with your emotions. Try to get far away from her --- she sounds toxic and will bring you down. Keep up with your self confidence and you will find the right girl.

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    • Thanks for saying that. I feel that I am a stand up guy. I was really hurt and upset by her acting like that. I really loved and cared about her. She knew that and was trying to take advantage. Its just more proof that the person I loved never existed. It was just a mask she wore. You are right she is toxic. I think she has narcissistic personality disorder. I've been going no contact for almost two weeks and going to keep it up.

    • Show All
    • I've just always held traditional values and have a strong moral compass.

      I'm not religious or anything I just have a sense of right and wrong and

      strive to do what's right. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to look myself

      in the mirror.

    • You're conscientious!

  • You aren't overreacting but I think you are failing to see how you play a role in this. She isn't forcing you to have sex with her.. She isn't making you meet up with her. Clearly, she left you and your engagement for another man yet you are willing to even entertain the thought of taking her back? Get yourself some self esteem really! You're young and have plenty of time to find someone who will love you entirely. You don't need to settle for her crap. She obviously needs to reevaluate herself and the situation she is putting her son in.

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    • you're right. I should have never started talking to her again. Or ever even entertained the thought of taking her back.

  • I think you should just move on and try to forget about her.

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    • I'm trying too. I've been going no contact for two weeks now. I go back to college tomorrow so hopefully I'll meet someone nice I can actually trust that isn't a narcissistic sociopath.

    • I hope things work out. Good luck. :)

    • thank you

What Guys Said 1

  • You only fucked up by even considering talking to her after she admitted she was still dating this other guy. Run far away from her.

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