What is my ex-boyfriend feeling right now and do I have a chance to get him back?

My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago after the silliest disagreement. He said he had been feeling this way and didn't say anything before in order to not ruin times we were having fun. It was an opportunity for him to break up with me and he took it. We've known each other for 10 years now. He has been every part of me for almost 3 years. Everything was always so amazing, like we were soul mates, but I got seriously injured a few months back and had to quit my job and wasn't able to do the same activities we did before. I noticed that ever since then, everything seemed to be rocky. I was really angry with how my life was going and I took it out on not only him, but everyone around me. I didn't mean to hurt him in any way, I would never want to hurt him, but I did. We've talked about it recently, before the break up and I tried explaining to him that I realized what I was doing to him and I was trying my best to be a better person, not just for him, but for myself. He's the one that helped me with my injury and pushed me to make the decision to have it surgically fixed, which is the best option for my condition. He said he'd be there to help me along the way with recovery and that I will eventually be happy and able to do the things we used to do together, like outdoor sports and camping. But just days before my surgery, he left. I'm so completely lost. He's always been there to help me in the toughest times in my life, and he said he'd help me through this. He said he wants to be friends for now. He's still talking to me and coming over to watch shows we regularly watch together. He's pretty much left everything the same, except when we're together, the only difference is I can't kiss him. We were just so in love and he still told me he loves me, and I love him with all of my heart, but I just don't know what's going on right now. I've never, ever had a boyfriend like this. The only other relationships I've had are the stupid ones where you hold hands and go to the movies. He was my first for everything and holds such a special place in my heart. I have never been broken up with and this relationship was so amazing that I don't know how to deal with life without him. I'm packing his things up right now and am probably going to drop it off while he's at work. He asked for his things back yesterday and I feel like he was just expecting his clothes, but I found everything that belonged to him, including sentimental things. He came over to watch TV last night like we always do and I told him how I feel. He said he didn't know how he felt yet and needs time. We hugged and I could see in his eyes he wanted more. I said it was okay to be a little weird right now because we don't know what's going on. We kissed, twice, and I was expecting just a kiss but he full on made out with me, more passionately than he has in a long time. I'm not sure if that means something. How do I cope and is there a chance I could have him back? He is an amazing guy.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that with everything you and he are going through right now, and the way you "took out your angry frustrations on him," it became suddenly too overwhelming for him, and he decided he needed a "break." And "break" he did, leaving just before the surgery in order to "exclude" himself physically--and emotionally right now---in your life. Another words, he got "cold feet," and doesn't want the attachments and everything this involves, just friends, and has asked for "his things back" which tie him to you--and a relationship he may feel right now he doesn't want--or cannot handle. By him wanting his things back, it allows him to feel less pressure, which will enable him to get a clearer picture, and not feel "cornered like a scared mouse." As sad and heartbreaking and unfair as it seems--and is---he feels he needs space, time to think, and if you love him, be patient for now. By doing this, knowing you are also there for him, may slowly enable YOU to cope. Abide by his wishes, sweetie. Perhaps this will give him an opportunity to "know how he feels." I think the "full mouth" gesture was to INSURE you that he does still love you, and not to forget him, nor he you----or what you both have shared in a beautiful relationship of both love and sentiment--but he just needs "a moment." How long "a moment", time--and God--only knows for certain,sweetie. I don't believe you have "lost" him, your "amazing guy," I think he was also letting you know, he will be around, and you too, "hold a special place in his heart," and always will. Patience on either side now is truly a virtue. As you recover(My prayers go out to you with this surgery), give him time as well to "recover from everything that is hard to cope with right now." Good luck, and God bless, sweetie.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Perhaps it was too much to handle for him, especially if things accumulated for a while.

    But it seems he's still really much into you.

    Give him a little space.

    I know he's doing it at a time when he should stick around.

    Aw, why do relationships always have to be so hard for petty reasons. :/

    • I do believe he still has feelings for me but I know that I need to let him live his life on his terms and I need to focus on what's best for me. If we find each other again in the process, then great.

    • Yes, absolutely.."focus on you" is absolutely right. Take time for the "mental and physical healing process."

  • if he took a golden opportunity too brake up with you it sounds like he doesn't really want to be with you at all


What Girls Said 1

  • All you can do right now is give him some space and see how it goes.


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