Is being civil with an ex who dumped you and called you fat and immature a bad move, or should I block her?

Basically I'm 20 and me and my ex were together for a year, she dumped me a month ago, but she had dumped me every week for the last 2 months of the relationship only to apologize the next day and say she loves me. It was always over something petty and small and looking back I think she did this to control me, she was quite controlling and manipulative. The whole reason we broke up was because she said if I don't earn more money than her when it's time to get married she won't marry me and will leave me. I didn't agree, I wasn't rude we were just debating at that point I just was saying love is more important and you collate salaries anyway so why should it matter as long as both partners are working hard. afterward she wanted to cuddle and I wasn't in the mood after what she had just said, the mood was a bit awkward and tense so I wasn't in the mood she then go angry and blocked me on everything possible, facbook, whatsapp etc.

Anyway so since then I realized I was blinded by love for a year and that she really was a terrible girlfriend it wasn't all bad I mean if it was I wouldn't have loved her. But looking back I'm glad to not be with a person like her anymore. But I have a dilemma since the break up she repeatedly kept contacting me, she told me after she broke up with me she wanted no contact for 6 weeks but messaged me after 2 weeks after how I was coping. I didn't respond and then a week later she messages again, I was totally over the situation so I just respond acting friendly I had no hostility at that point she is however rude so I just stop responding, she messages me again and again and the same thing happens. Me trying to be friendly and her being rude, anyway so I decided I was done being friendly and just wanted to move and forget about her as she is in the past, she messaged me again asking a trivial question. I responded this time and she was trying to make conversation so I answered but just wrote could she stop contacting, thanks. She got angry asking why, is it her personality and I got a bit angry that she wouldn't leave me alone so said yeah I don't want to be friends because you personality is terrible after she kept prompting me asking me why etc. She then says she's glad she left me, never regretted it, should have left sooner, I'm fat broke and immature, no respectable girl will ever want me etc. I just replied that's great glad you feel better now stop speaking to me, she kept going on and on until I eventually just stopped replying then she blocked me again.

She then unblocked me the next day saying she found one of my posessions at her place and was going to leave it for me to pick up at the university reception. That was today, anyway I didn't respond to that, just went to pick it up and that was it. But I can't help thinking that all this hostility and hatred is unhealthy. I don't really want to hate her I want to feel nothing for her, which I do but each time we speak I keep feeling hatred...

Updates:
...towards her and annoyance. She keeps saying she wants to be friends but then when I'm friendly is rude etc and the opposite of friendly. People say she keeps messaging you because she wants you back etc, I don't want her back so should I just block her and move on. I'm never going to be friendly with her as in, calling her checking how she is or texting her to see what she's up to because I genuinely don't care what she is doing in life so I don't feel the need.
But I was thinking of just saying replying thanks when she said she found one of my posessions just to be civil. But at times I just feel like she doesn't derserve me being civil with her and I have a right to be hostile and never speak to her again. Sometimes I think I'm to nice I mean she has done and said a lot of horrible things to me but I haven't got personal and called her fat or ugly etc, why would I do that what's the need. So be civil e.g. thanks or not reply and be done with it?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • U have been too civil with her, she is a rude person with no values or respect for human beings.She does not deserve a Thanku. be done with that beeeeeotch..and I will bet when you are both mature adults later on in life and you are loaded, have a nice car and a beautiful wife and kids, she will feel the wrath and kick herself,her loss, you sound like a sweet heart

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What Girls Said 7

  • If a guy called me fat etc without any reason...I would most likely cease from talking about them or talking to them.

    I would tell myself I deserve a lot more self respect and respect from others.

    Personally, I would take the high road and ignore them. Then I would just leave them.

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  • Removing yourself from a toxic situation is not rude. Get yourself out. Being civil means you're polite if you run into them and you don't say rude things. Being civil does not mean you continue to have contact.

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  • If you think she is being unreasonable, block her and tell her you don't deserve this mistreatment.

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  • I think you should just block her and not give her anymore thought.

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  • It shows great character to be civil with someone that treated you so badly. My ex was abusive and after we split I vowed never to speak to him again. A few months after we broke up he contacted me via FB to tell me about his new wonderful,trusting 18 y/o girlfriend-to which I repled 'I'm so happy you've finally found someone,hey maybe it will be my turn next haha! Hows the family'?. He never contacted me again-he thought I would be cut up and begging for himto come back!

    You don't have to block her,ignore her etc-just show her you're getting on with your life and how much better you are than to harbour a hatred toward someone you once loved :) I pi**ses them off like nothing else haha x

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  • Don't maintain relationships with negative people.

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  • Definitely block her

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What Guys Said 2

  • Just block her... that would be the "civil" thing to do. It's not you being an ass. It's you moving on.

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  • Block her and be done. She doesn't deserve you :)

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