The guy I've been seeing since July has been divorced for over a year & was very detailed in the telling of how his ex wife was having an affair with a 22 year-old (she is 34) which he found out about. On Sunday he revealed to me HE too had been having an affair during the last four years of the marriage. The other woman was their "close friend" & was present for the birth of their youngest child, their kids played together, etc.
My reaction was complete shock which quickly turned to anger.
He says he told me all this to be completely honest ( he said he hasn't told anyone but me, he only told people his wife was the cheater) because he is in love with me & wants a future with me. I am conflicted, apprehensive & realizing that what he did says so much about his character. He did cheat but he did tell me the truth. I am torn. Should I give this person the benefit of the doubt? Advice from both genders is what I want, but I'll take whatever I can get! Thanks
Most Helpful Girl
I wouldn't trust him and I think you're right to feel conflicted and not trust him.
I have a friend right now, and for as long as I have known her, she has never been faithful to any of her bfs. She is happy in a relationship now, loves her boyfriend and him her, and they plan on getting engaged etc. She cheated on her ex-bf to be with her current boyfriend. Well guess what she has been up to lately... I have no idea why she does it, but she does. She is a master manipulator because she even told her boyfriend about "the guy who is trying to pursue her". Whatever.
What happened with his four year affair lady? Why isn't he with her? Did he lose interest in her because now he's a free man? What happens if you get married and you have children with him... will he do the same? If you make a mistake, is he going to look elsewhere?
It sucks because obviously you've invested the time in him and care about him, but I seriously wouldn't continue things with him. It does reflect badly on his character. If he can get away with an affair for four years, he is very good at it and a master manipulator, like my friend. They might be good people, but they have a huge flaw. I wouldn't want my heart in his hands...1