Why do people get rebounds and how long do they usually last?

My ex and I broke up after 3 years together. We were each others first real love. I was her first and everything. I recently moved an hour away from our home town to obtain my masters degree. Upon doing that she said she couldn't trust me so we broke up and she started talking to another guy, but we ended up back together. Another 6 months pass, and we had another falling out, and we decided to go our separate ways. After about 2 weeks she starts dating the guy she was speaking to last time. He is a bum, doesn't have a car, on probation, smokes, does drugs, drinks, etc. She's 22 and he is 19. I was hurt that she would throw away her standards. We've been separated since November and we haven't spoke since. I still think about her from time to time. Is it normal to do that? I don't want her back I just wonder how she is doing at times. Since we broke up she deleted all of her social networking sites so it's impossible see if she's doing okay.


Most Helpful Girl

  • sometimes we don't know what's going on in other people's minds

    I can honestly say I can get hurt, after break up and it stings for awhile

    I have to try to forget him, his family, his friends, what he said I didn't like or what I liked, basically I have to stop caring

    I have to say... I have talked to other guys right after the relationship ended or started to end. This is to me is reassuring myself 'this is over'.

    It also helps me move on from my ex.I may talk to lower standard or higher standard guys.

    since one of my break ups, more than 20 have asked me out, but it doesn't mean I am jumping in bed or throwing myself at them. I flirt , I talk but it is more or less to get over the other guy.

    and sometimes I am already over the guy (ex), I just enjoy the talk, that I miss being in a relationship but have no time to really commit myself.

    and sometimes pain and emotion clouds our judgement and we choose someone who doesn't deserve us. that is the problem of youth, emotional based judgement and impatience. Because it hurts so much, we just jump into something.

    the key for me, not to get too involved. the best thing is to be picky


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What Girls Said 4

  • It sounds like she fell for this guy while she was still into you. I'm guessing the whole smoking/drugs thing was the reason she didn't date him in the first place which is why she went back to you. But the heart loves what it want a or some bullshit and she fell for some dick smoking a crack pipe. I've seen this before. My best advice would be to try to cull her from every aspect of your life and try to get over her. Good luck :)

  • just a few months usually

  • Let her do what she wants

  • its totally normal to still think about someone you loved for so long and want to know if theyre doing ok

    i agree with maddi; just cull her from every aspect of your life. personally I think there was some funny business going on behind your back, usually cheats are the ones who are paranoid and can't trust their partners so I'm thinking was she thinking about other guys or talking to them behind your back when you moved an hour away and broke up with you out of guilt & worry youd be doing the same as she is. especially as she found someone after instead of being single trying to get over you or waiting for when you came back. I think she was dating that guy the whole time during those 6 months, you don't just start speaking/going out with a guy then drop him for 6 months then ask him to start dating all of a sudden


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