How do I get him to take me back?

A guy and I were dating for almost 3 months, probably closer to 2 than 3, but anyways, the last few weeks we kept having the same argument about how I was unhappy that the amount of attention he was able to show me was changing from when we had first started dating, and while I believed him when he told me those changes were a result of changes with his job, I continued to over think it, until in a final act of childish behavior and immaturity I broke up with him, and from his perspective told him his best wasn't good enough, and that by staying with him I would be settling. I don't know when I became so mean, or how I could be so cruel; it really truly was not my intention to do so, but I got caught up in the moment and let my emotions get the best of me. When I went to see him to break it off, I honestly did not think that was how it would end, I did not think he would let me walk away so easily, I honestly thought he would fight to keep me. But who in their right mind would fight to keep anyone in their lives who hurt them the way I hurt him with my poor poor choice of words. I don't know what I was thinking, obviously I wasn't--all I can say is, I am human, it is human to err, & I'm far from perfect. I regretted everything the second I realized there was no more fixing us, what was done, was done, & he literally had to ask me to leave and damn near escorted me out. I lost complete control of my emotions, because as I said, this didn't go at all like I expected. Before I hear you were only together for 2-3months get a grip, please realize all relationships are different and that perhaps we were a little more serious than most 2-3month relationships. Anyways, this all took place Friday night, just before I made him late to work...& here it is Sunday evening. I've spent the weekend in pyscho mode, blowing his phone up with calls, texts, and voicemails, and his Facebook, to the extent of where he actually blocked me on Facebook. I even reached out to his little sister and mom for help, and no go. Then I asked my dad to reach out to him, since they got along well, had a lot in common, and the ex respected him..& still nothing. Now in a last ditch effort to say "I'm sorry," I'm planning on cooking him dinner & desert, and taking it to his place after work tomorrow, & just dropping it off. I'm really not expecting much, I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't exchange more than a handful of words, or if he wasn't there at all, and I ended up leaving it with his roommates--but at least I would know I truly tried everything to make things right. At this point, I know the possibility of us getting back together is far fetched; but if I could just get him to hear me, or talk to me...if we could some how find a way to part as friends--than I guess that'd be more than I could ever ask for...Please see that I have tried to be as brutally honest as possible, fully claiming all of my flaws and short comings in this situation.


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What Guys Said 1

  • im tempted not to read this because questions asking how you 'make' someone take you back onlyhave one answer. You can't and you shouldn't try or risk coming off as a cling/needy embarassment and just making things worse.

    However I will read for the sake of backstory.

    Now, for the moment you have well and truly burned all your bridges with him and youve come across as, pardon my choice of words, a psychopath. The only thing I would suggest you can even try doing in order to salvage what's left is ditch the idea of cooking him dinner and desert, although it could be seen as sweet it still comes across as a bit extreme. I would say that the best thing to do is write him a letter saying sorry and how you're going to step back for a while and give the two of you space to think. Maybe another sorry after that won't hurt. Then end it by saying youd like to talk to him a week from now to know where you stand and what the future holds, if there is one.

    During that period of a week you must NOT make any effort to contact him, his family or his friends. Separate your world and his as much as possible and use the time to think over yourself and mentally prepare for the chance that he might not want to get back together


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