How to fix a broken friendship?

I was friends with this guy and we had an emotional thing going for a while. To cut a long story short, I pushed him away and he tried to reach out but I pushed him further away. He was deeply hurt. He kept trying to reach out and eventually stopped trying. We ignored each other for a while and I sent him a text to apologize and explain my behavior to him. He texed me back and said my text was funny and he has no idea of what I am talking about, he hadn’t even noticed that I ignored him. I texted back and said oh OK then, its fine and I feel like an idiot now and we haven’t really spoken since. We saw each other a lot but we ignored each other. It went on for a couple of weeks. In those weeks he started getting close to another girl and I think they were dating, I acted like it didn’t bother me and I was away for a few days and didn’t see him and when I came back, he and the girl were no longer together and they are also not as close, he told a mutual friend that he was not ready to date. We see each other a lot but we act like the other is not there. I feel bad for hurting him and I want us to be at least civil and stop ignoring each other, even if we won’t be friends again but at least speak to each other because we are in the same circle of friends and its really awkward. He won’t even look me in the eye now, he just looks away and does his best not to look at me. I know he is aware of me when I am around because I catch him looking out of the corner of his eyes. I want to approach him but he seems unapproachable and maybe he doesn’t want anything to do with me again. The other day he said hi to me as if nothing ever happened and I waved back and then silence again. He is a good guy and we were crossing paths that’s why he said hi first, he is not the kind to walk past someone without greeting them. Maybe he has forgotten and I don’t want to go up to him and bring it up again only to have him laugh at me again and tell me he doesn’t know what I am talking about. When I see him he always looks happy and care free but then on his online profiles he always write statuses about getting over some pain. Maybe he is talking about something else, I don’t know. What must I do? Should I just live him alone and let the silence continue or must I approach him and ask to talk to him and try to start over? I really want to start over but I don’t know how.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally, if all you want is friendship, it doesn't hurt to try one last time, especially if you guys have the same circle of friends. Talk to him IN PERSON and ALONE. Do not use phone, text, IM, email, etc. Apologize sincerely, tell him you only want a friendship. Say that you realize your mistake and would really like to start over if it is okay with him. But do NOT beg him. Just say this to him and walk away. The ball is in his court. You will have expressed what you're feeling inside and he will know it. If he comes back to talk to you again, then great. If he doesn't respond, just move on and stop looking back.

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    • Ok Thanks for the response. If he seems open and approachable I will try and talk to him but if he acts like I am not there, I will just leave him be and not force the situation.

    • Did you ever get the answer you wanted? I'm curious this post was awhile back

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What Guys Said 2

  • He's not going to admit to you that he's hurt, there's no reason trying to pry it out of him for your satisfaction. Just leave him alone. He's moving on, let him.

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    • Hahaha! So mean but thanks, I appreciate the response. I will leave him alone.

  • Usually when a guy moves on, they are done & move on. Sounds to me like he's done with you. He tried, he failed, you hurt his pride & he accepted it. Leave him alone & do the same.

    You didn't say why you pushed him away. Seems like you only want what you now can't have & I bet he's thinking the same.

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    • Ok thanks. I will just leave him alone. Should I continue to ignore him or should I say hi if I see him. I totally accept it if he is done with me but can't we be civil. We practically see each other everyday and we are in the same circle of friends, I don't want the tension, it makes other friends uncomfortable.

    • I think you should be friends with again, real life Facebook whatever. He probably misses your friendship, hurts more than you think

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