When they blame it all on you?

My ex recently blamed everything on me. literally the cause of fucking up the relationship. and in all honesty, I was not the one to fuck it up. what does it mean when as ex blames it all on you? what happened to the its me not you line? are they just really hurt? hate me?

and really, I did not cheat, did not lie, non of that. he was the one who had trouble expressing his feelings/what he wanted. he had just gotten out of a different relationship with some one he really loved also.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • From my experience with all sorts of men, sweetie, it wasn't you, it was HIM, and if he did this in the past with another sad case, he definitely has a pattern of "botching,then blaming" afterward. He is what I call emotionally unstable, and is not ready to be in a real relationship. By blaming you, is his "warped excuse" to break free and fly off into the wilderness, where he will most likely set his claws into his next gullible victim. Yes, this is their BIG problem, these "disturbed demons":They have trouble expressing their feelings, except when it is to "fuck it up and fuck you over." No, they do NOT know what they want or who they want or where they want to be in life, except perhaps if it is a "booty call" with you between the sheets." No, there is no more "It's not me" line. No, they are not hurt by anything you are feeling or the tears you shed for them. And deep down, somewhere beneath their heartless interior,they really do "hate themselves" for what they do to you, and this in turn, makes it seem as though he hates you. And this is why in the end, they just end up breaking it off or---giving you "red flag signs" that you yourself should. They even know deeper within that they are actually not good enough for you, and that you can find better than them. Move on, sweetie, and don't keep in contact with him if you don't have to. He is not worth the things you NEVER did do, and there is surely someone out there deserving who will respect you for this. At least you know you can sleep at night knowing you tried, and weren't the "fuck up" in this relationship. Good luck, sweetie and --good riddance to "past mistakes."

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 3

  • It doesn't matter who placed what kind of blame where and to what degree. Move on and learn from each and every relationship and adventure you encounter. If someone is so eager to put blame on someone else then that is their issue.

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  • Most likely embarrassment about what was said...

    He'd rather forget the painful memories, so he takes the easy way out blaming you, and certainly isn't going to think about what you said and respond.

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  • I know what you feel, my ex did the same. It's very tough and painful. Because you know that the reason for the 'breakup' might just be a miscommunication/misunderstanding. Because they didn't have the clarity of mind to look if there was something they themselves did wrong.

    This way you know it can't be resolved anytime soon.

    Maybe in time that he will think about it and understand your side. But I would unfortunately not count on it. It's been over a year for me and I've heard nothing from her.

    May you heal well.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Guys are kown to not comunicate as effectively as us women. I didn't cheat either or start anything with his buddies. it's their own sad way of being the 'nice guy'

    the irony is they were the ones who are insecure to begin with. Is he contacting you and saying this? I would block him.

    I had the same issue with an ex. he never had any goals or was able to stick to anything or solve issues. when I got tired,I left. just be happy you're not with him. and most likely he is hurting.

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    • how is it their way of being the nice guy?

    • ...emotionally unstable...says it all...

    • Just wanted to say gummybear, you sound pretty mean the way you typed your response.

      And also asif your blaming 'the other person' for all faults, the same as OP's situation.

  • he's your ex. just let it go and don't let it bother you anymore. you know the truth and that's all that matters

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  • Is easier to blame other people for stuff than look at your own behaviour...extremely hurtful I know

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