How you act in a break up?

Does how you act in a break up reflect how you still feel? Wouldn't indifference show the person is truly done where anger would reflect being hurt/not over it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think I'm pretty good about breakups.

    The first time, I was over HER pretty quickly, but I don't know if I'll ever be over her cheating, especially with the way she was doing it. I realized very quickly that I was much happier and better off than to be with someone who wasn't going to treat me with the respect of being truthful with me. There were other issues, and it wasn't worth it.

    As much as she was pretty damaged before I even went out with the second girl, I quickly realized that and got out. I wish her luck, I wish her good health, and I wish her to be in a good place mentally. That's about it. No hatred, no names; I keep most of the relationship stuff private, I don't badmouth her... I just say it didn't work out, and I move on.

    I was over it pretty quickly - most of the relationships didn't really last long enough to develop deep feelings. If they don't want to be around me or truthful with me, I'm better off single than unhappy with "bragging rights" about being in a relationship.

    I've tried to make sure that any relationship I've had, I'm still doing other stuff, and I still have a life outside of them. I hate it when people drop off the face of the planet completely whenever they get a shiny new relationship. I don't want to neglect good friends just because I've met someone. I want them to have friends and a life outside of me (while being faithful, like I am).

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What Guys Said 2

  • Good question, I've gone through 2 break ups so far in my life.

    The first was terrible. I had dated a girl who used to be my closest friend for 3,5 years. Things got out of hand when I found out she had kissed my best friend, I couldn't trust her any more and I would get seriously angry at her whenever she complained about something petty I would do. I can say it took me 4 months to emotionally get over her, but I'm so glad I don't feel a thing for her.

    Second one was OK - a little cold some times, but most of the time I felt strong.

    Dated a girl for a month, she made things official, claimed I was "something special", made me meet her parents 2 weeks in (parents said I was a great guy) - hell even her brother thought I was awesome. Any way, things were going great until she started to insult me, call me a "retard" every once in a while, engage in "banter" with this little smock who so happens to be my neighbour, and I just felt seriously demeaned.

    On a night out she wanted to head back to the block, I didn't really and she got all pissed at me for not wanting to accompany her back (even though she had 2 friends going with her). I had to chase her in the pouring rain with nothing but a thin shirt on and the following Monday I got a text saying "we need to talk".

    So for the first break up, time served me well - although it was hard at the beginning I was able to build my self-esteem and confidence right back up.

    For the second what served me well was indifference. As soon as she said "we need to talk" I was already braced for what was coming - the break up. I went up to her room like she instructed and I told her "Look I think it's better if we see other people". The look on her face was priceless.

    She acts very angry towards me now, she ignores me most of the time haha. I think what hurt her the most is that she wanted to be friends and I just simply told her "friends don't fuck each other over" - WIN!

    I'm on to new things now, I'm currently looking for another, more long term, relationship with a girl who I can appreciate and can appreciate me.

    I've learnt from my mistakes, because we all have done some regardless if we're the dumpee or the dumper, and I hope things go better for me from now on.

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  • If I am hurt, then I flip out and hurt them back -its childish I know, but I can't help myself. If I truly don't care, OR I want them back, I act indifferent.

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What Girls Said 2

  • No, not necessarily. Even if I were really upset over a break up, I'd still fake indifference. I'm the kind of person who often tries to hide her emotions, because expressing them makes me feel even more vulnerable.

    On the other side, I had a friend who was pretty angry and annoyed when her ex-boyfriend broke up with her, but not at all because she still liked him -- she just wanted to be the one to end the relationship, not him.

    So I think it really depends.

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  • I've mainly been dumped via text because some guys are just that immature. Some of the girls I've dated and one of the guys I've dated broke up with me face to face. If it wasn't serious I stay calm and collected and I end up kissing him/her on the cheek before I leave (it's an Italian thing). If it was a serious relationship and I loved the person I look like an idiot. I try to keep my cool and eventually my face starts twitching because I try not to cry but I eventually end up crying. Afterwards, I'm cold but kind to him/her because I'm trying to not to add any unnecessary things to deal with on top of a break up.

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