A Letter I sent To My Ex.. Your opinoins.

I have attached bellow a text I sent to my ex. (I texted her because when I talked to her she would never listen to anything I would say about how I feel.) It was after we broke up from a 8 month relationship and she was being incredibly unkind and callous. As well I found out 5 days after we broke up she was back on Match.com. Then, a friend of mine, playing vigilante (unbeknownst to me) struck up a conversation with her on match. Here are some brief highlights. She claimed her last relationship was more than a year ago. When asked about our relationship she said that wasn't a relationship at all so she wasn't rebounding from it. She said she never loved me and had tricked herself as well as me. That because she never loved me it was OK to just break up with me for no reason at all. At any rate she said some really unkind stuff and I was hurt so this is what I sent:

I am so deeply hurt by the things you said to this Justin. Even if you never loved me which I don't believe how can it be that you have no kindness or care left for me whatsoever. To act and say the things you have said to me with no remorse or feeling for me at all is almost robot like. To say that we never had a relationship so you have nothing to rebound from was possibly the most hurtful selfish thing I have ever endured. To say that you think its somehow fair how you broke up with me is insane. What did I do to deserve this treatment from you. This complete uncaring and indifferent attitude. You have ruined every fond memory I had of my time together with you and your son. Made me regret every minute wasted. You are truly the most selfish, self-centered and unkind person I have ever met. Please get some help before you get into a relationship with someone and hurt them.

She tries to cal 6 times in a row the night I sent it but my ringer was shut off then left a message. She was angry claiming that untrue things were said about here and she had done nothing wrong and wanted a call back. I called back and left a message but never heard a thing. I never really wanted to talk to her anyway. Your comments?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with yopyopyop and yaddayaddayadda02. I say you should have done the mature thing and not have sent her the text, or you should have at least toned down your anger and frustration in your text.

    At that point in time there was no reason to bash her with insults. It gained you nothing but disrespect and hatred from her and angered her in the process. Sharing your feelings of sadness and hurt, to some degree, is one thing, but you should never insult or criticize anyone or say or even think time with them was wasted. Time with someone is never wasted. It's to be cherished, and lessons should be learned from it.

    Personally I think you owe her an apology. You should man-up, call her, and apoligize. A text would be inappropriate, as would an apology in a vmail message. Leave a vmail message if you'd like to tell you'd like to apolgize, but apologize to her while speaking to her.

    • I think your comments are very relevant and interesting. You are right that the anger was too much and for that I will consider an apology. I guess that I had endured so many insults from her I just snapped. But I don't believe that it is more mature to not let someone know how they have made you feel, especially when they seem so oblivious to it

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    • Good Luck Man! I went through something like that but it ultiately ended in divorce. Fortunately I am much happier know, present B.S excluded

    • Thanks for the BA! Good luck to you too.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yeah I would have not have sent her the message. It was well put but it is more hurtful to you then her. Just leave her and move on. She is obviously not worth it and never was. She played you and probably did not love you for a long term relationship. She just wanted to be selfish and have fun.

    When you were not fun or a use to her anymore she showed her true colors and how nasty she is. She won't have love if she does not get her act together. I know this is hard but it should be easier now that you have hardly any good feelings for her now. Just move on and find a women that actually want you for you and that you both are great for each other and both care and work for the relationship.

    • Thank you, those are good comments, and yes it is easier now seeing her true colors

What Guys Said 2

  • There was no reason to follow up on her, stalk her on dating sites or send that message. All you did was cement in her mind that it was a good idea to break up with you. These post-breakup antics always backfire on the person sending them.

    Next time, just leave well enough alone and leave her be. Keep your hurt to yourself.

    • I was unaware of the stalking on the dating site part. A guy I know did it and it was made how completely stupid I think it was to have done it. I agree completely with you on that part of it

  • I came across a very similar personality recently. Keyword is robot. Otherly said, psychopath.

    Now in your text, you showed her she had hurt you (she doesn't care about that), but more importantly (for her), you gave her an accurate image of herself that she can't get on with. Oh the ego failure, right in her face. Oh the denial of her little games.

    So she probably wanted to talk to you in order to blame you for some stuff, in order to hurt you some more, or pull up some more drama, so you would feel bad about something.

    Just move on. She's not worth a second of your time.

    • I agree with your assesment and she definitely wanted to talk to make me feel bad about something and reinforce that she had done nothing wrong.

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    • If you consider an apology, then do it smartly. Apologize while being insulting. But I wouldn't recommend it, since it only prolonges the time before you completely move on.

    • If I do apologize I won't do it in an insulting manner, there would be no point in doing it at ll. And to that point I think the apology does get in the way of moving on as you said, and really profits nothing

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