Why can't I just let her go?

Me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up 3 weeks ago. long story this was the first major relationship either of us had been in and she said that she didn't really care anymore, that the feelings she once had had changed, and she basically wanted to be single. she said that I was a great boyfriend and that I won't have any problem finding someone else, which I believe she genuinely meant. anyways its been 3 weeks and I can get her off my mind. I keep on thinking that her name is gonna pop up on my phone and that she gonna text me saying that she wants to get back together, but that hasn't happened. I haven't talked to her at all and she hasn't talked to me at all either. I know that there's no point in try to stay with someone who doesn't want you but I still miss her and want to text her really bad! I know that the chances of her texting me are slim to none but for some reason a small part of me keeps holding on to hope that she's gonna text me. should I wait 2 or 3 more weeks to see if she text me and then text her if she doesn't? or should I just forget about her and move on? and If I should move on how can I get myself to let go of any hope of getting back with her? really just any advice would be helpful! and by the way I'm 21 and she's 19


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that in your situation it's best to move on. Break-ups are hard to deal with, you have spent a lot of time with someone that knows the deepest parts of you and got close. People change all the time, we're constantly growing, and that can be hard if you move apart in a way. Be thankful though that she didn't drag it out or anything. I know that you may still love her a lot and that's natural but the silence and distance is something that you MUST do, you both need time away to think and heal, otherwise old wounds just keep getting opened up and you'll be hurt more because she was the one that ended it. What I would suggest is, writing her phone number down, putting it in a book or somewhere in your room etc and deleting her number off your phone so that you won't be tempted to text her first. Don't do it, DO NOT TEXT HER FIRST, she broke your heart, let her be the one to talk with you, it shows that you have strength to not reach out. She taught you lessons in life that you needed to learn, and you taught her the same. Be thankful for the relationship and experiences but realize that now, it's time to move on for you. I've done the whole back together thing before and it ended with him breaking up with me again, once you break up you know that you love the other person more and it just doesn't work right again. Save yourself the heartache believe me.

    You will be hurting for a while, not going to lie, but then you'll wake up one morning and just smile. Take your time, you will find someone else to love, that will love you the same way.


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What Girls Said 3

  • you're both young and relationships don't have to happen right away or change.

    maybe some time down the road you'll meet again.

    but for now all you can do is keep busy, move forward, do what you feel is right for you.

  • You're so young. The best I can tell you is try to read books that will answer all of your questions about 'love' and 'dating' and 'attachment styles' etc. There's not any one answer to soothe your agony that you are going through... it's a painful process. As human beings with emotions, it's never black and white when we fall in love... there's always a emotional bond in that case that does not just turn off. It's hard; and it's very time consuming and frustrating. Thinking constantly about a person we love or are very enchanted by feels like a crazy torture at times... Talk to a counselor if you are able to move past this at your own pace.

  • First love can be hard to get over. Three weeks isn't that long. You'll be fine.

    • should I even consider texting her in the future once I've had more time to think about things or should I forget about it

    • I'm sorry, but it sounds like she has no interest in having a relationship with you anymore.

What Guys Said 4

  • I was in a serious relationship with a girl for 3,5 years mate and I know how the first few weeks or even months feel like, believe me.

    Unluckily for me she decided to break up with me on New Year's Day (bitch I know), luckily I only had a month left before I started my 8 month long gap year trip - this trip relieved so much of the pain she had caused.

    During the gap year I can honestly say I thought about her once - yes, only once and then nothing, emptiness. I never shed a tear for her or broke down again.

    I was dating girls on my travels, getting in bed with some real beauties and by the time I came back I was on the prowl for a new serious relationship - which I haven't found yet, but it's coming :).

    Any way, my point is what you desperately need now is TIME FOR YOURSELF. Break ups are most probably the 2nd hardest bit of anyone's life - besides a relative or friend's death. But break ups can be good too :) You can rediscover who you are, learn more about yourself and look back on your Ex and realize how incompetent they actually were and how you were blinded by your feelings.

    So now my man, take those cojones and move on, do something special for yourself (a trip, learn a new instrument, meet new people, etc ...) and don't EVER look back on the past.

    Exes will be bitches for the rest of your life, but if you ignore them and move on with yours you can make them your bitches ;)

    Chin up!

  • After 3 weeks it would be OK to tell her you miss her, but don't pressure her into getting back together.

    Most likely she has realized you both were just too young for a lifetime commitment. And she's likely right about that.

    Try just being friends and staying in touch. Who knows what the future holds?

    There;s ot reason you should have any sad or negative feelings since you broke up amicably.

  • It has only been three weeks. Do not text her. At. All. Just move on. You're 21 in your dating prime. Get out there while you can.

  • You can't just let her go, because you still love her and it was your first love. You were together for 3 years. Which means it will take MONTHS, if not YEARS to heal to a sufficient level where you don't think about her all the time.

    I'm 13 months out of my first breakup. I have had multiple short relationships since. And still she's the only one I care for.

    But now I have sort of made peace with the fact that she's gone, so it doesn't hurt as much.

    Your reasoning is right. There is no point to try to stay with someone who doesn't want you.

    Hold that thought, it's the reason you will be able to accept it and heal.

    Who knows, maybe in the distant future (years) you two wil meet again.

    She won't contact you and you shouldn't contact her, because she will probably just ignore you. And that will make it hurt a LOT more.


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