Does this still happen to you?

I experienced toxic heartbreak a year ago, most days now I think I am fine, but still some days I think of him and cry and breakdown, until I'm breathless. I truly loved this person with all I had, unconditionally.

I can't be with him even, he is a horrible person I only found that out in the end. It just kills me I have nothing that says I should be with him, and he smashed my heart mercilessly , manipulated me, lied to me, I could list so much. He broke my heart to dust and I love him still with every grain of it. I get so mad at myself for feeling this way.

I hate the fact that other men wanna date me, but I feel so hollow and numb in my heart :'(.

Like have you been with someone and after a long while, you still breakdown over it from time to time?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • YES. I was with my ex for a little over 6 years. I won't get into the details about why we ended the relationship, but we both were still in love with each other when we broke up. For me personally, I knew that if I didn't start moving on right away- that I never would move on. I was an absolute wreck. Deciding to date again was absolutely heart breaking, and I almost felt like I was disrespecting the wonderful relationship that we had all those years, because I started dating so quickly. But it was just something that I had to do for myself. I tried online dating, with the mindset that I would just go on casual dates with people for the time, nothing to serious. I met a guy, dated him for 4 years, got engaged, and have been married now for about a year and a half.

    He actually contacted my friend three days before my wedding, telling me to call him because he really needed to tell me something. I never called him though. I knew that if I did, and he tried talking me into getting back together with him, that I would make the wrong choice, and lose what I did have with my current fiance at the time. Again, I had to make a tough decision that really killed me, but that I knew deep down, was best for me.

    I'll admit, I have, and still do miss him a lot. Often, I will hear or see things that remind me of him, and it still hurts a little. Reflecting on our relationship and thinking about our many memories together still hurts, but I think that will never really go away. He was my first love, and he will always, always have a little piece of my heart. As much as I wish I could take back that piece, and be able to give it to my husband so that he has my whole heart, I know that I can't.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • no actually, more of a deep seeded resentment. I have too much respect for myself to waste time crying over her

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes, this has happened to me. I wasn't even with the guy, and he was a horrible jerk (and still is), but I still loved him. I always knew he was no good, and I really didn't want to still think about him or cry over him, but I did for about 3 years. I felt so pathetic. I even knew we weren't meant to be. I feel like I wasted so much time because every guy that I met during those three years didn't compare to him (even though they were probably nicer than him). After all this, I'm still scared to get attached to a guy, because I think they will just be like him in the end.

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  • I just got out of a crappy break-up as well and know the feeling, sometimes I want to cry and other times I feel like I can rule the world you know? It's kind of a roller coaster still, but this is a natural part of life. He doesn't deserve you, and he never did, don't try and justify his actions because you truly did love him unconditionally, he didn't love you enough and wasn't worth your time. What I have learned from this recent and past experiences is that you fall in love, and love can hurt you, but in the end if you can say that you did all you could have, then it's alright. In the end it was up to him to fight for you as well and treat you the way you should be treated.

    And about dating other guys, I don't see why you can't go out on dates just for coffee or something light to start out with, don't do a serious relationship but meet other people that want to spend time with you, it may help.

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