Girls, am I doing this right to get my ex back?

So my ex girlfriend and I of 2 years just broke up literally a few days ago. Basically she suffers from depression and given that her life is in the dumps. She has no sex drive, she hates her career, hates her friends. She told me that she loves me, and that she cares deeply for me, however she lacks her sex drive that she had 2 years ago before her depression took total control. I am a therapist and I know that a huge (and I say huge) part of depression is a lack of drive for anything, including knocking boots. I have told her this and she has said I am just trying to control her and crap. So basically this weekend I stayed over her house she told me how she loves me we cuddled made out no love making. Saturday, I go out with my friends and have a good time (work hard, play hard). I call her as I am leaving the bar I was at to say good night and that I love her. She tells me how she hates her life, hates her classes, can't stand how she looks, and so forth. I say that it's all self imposed. Nothing and no one can control your happiness other than you. She told me that I should shut up and that she doesn't want a boyfriend right now. I was sad but kept composure and told her OK I wish you the best, you are a great girl and I hope someone loves you just as much if not more than I do. I hung up and didn't text nor call her till today. She called me on Sunday ( I didn't pick up, I was busy) and then on Monday. On Monday she asked me how are you doing, I replied with I am great picked up a new facility, going to Cali with my rugby team for a tournament, and playing a show on Saturday. She then got bummed. My thinking and please correct me if I am wrong is that she wanted me to be the mopey self that I usually am when she pulls this stuff. I've been calm and collected while every text and/or phone call she's been heated and trying to get a rise out of me. So today as I am driving home I get a call from her. She saw a post on my FB relating to how one shouldn't dedicate their lives to an individual who doesn't return it. She told me how I'm an a-hole and all this jazz. I told her that it's in reference to a few friends of mine who are going through rough patches in their own relationships. If she took it as me attacking her she is wrong because I still love and adore her I just know I can't be with her in this moment until she is willing to get help for her diagnosed and previously medicated issue.

So I do want to get her back. I'm either madly in love with her or a complete idiot. I was thinking of talking to her here and there over the next few weeks hang out once every week or other week and just be strong, confident, funny, and just the guy she first saw. After several hang outs I was planning on asking her to a buddy of mine's bday bash and there I was going to kiss her with such passion and professing my love to her. Do you ladies think this will work?
Also, this is our 3rd break again due to her depression episodes. Previously I was a little baby and cried and begged for her back. This time I am taking a stance being a man and not letting anything phase me or deter me. If in a few months we aren't back I will graciously move on but my love for her will always be set in stone. She really is a great girl I just wish she would seek the help she needs.
And lastly she just asked if we could hang out tomorrow night... I don't know if I should go or not...


Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • She's not ready to be in a relationship yet

    It's never going to work out for you guys

  • sorry to be rude, man.. but if you're a therapist, like you say, you should know better yourself.

    >She told me that I should shut up and that she doesn't want a boyfriend right now.<

    then, as soon as she gets to know you've got a life and you're doing quite well w/o her, actually, she puts up the drama-queen scene cause she doesn't have a pet to bash all her mood-swings into anymore..?

    alright but let's come to the point: you love it. not her, IT. you love this situation. it's making you feel empowered, you're in the top-dog position (mental-health-wise), and you perfectly know she's totally yours only when she's frail, at her worse. I can see how you two don't make sex at all, it's all mind games. you basically need each other psychologically. now you're planning this big show where you can put your white-knight armor thingy and 'go to the rescue'.. and then what? back to square one. seriously dude, re-read yourself. no, this won't work. you need to get your own sanity back, as well as she has to. that screams co-dependancy, at least for what you've described.


What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Recommended myTakes