Why won't he be friends with me?

Ex boyfriend was in contact with all his exes when I was with him. I didn't mind. He was even still in contact with his most recent ex who cheated on him. He considered cheating as the most disgusting thing ever.

We were together a year and I loved him with all my heart. I tried so hard to make him happy, but I just didn't seem to be what he wanted. Eventually I tired of it and let him go.

Surprisingly he said he was devastated and that he love me so much. He said no one had ever appreciated or loved him as much as I did. He begged me to stay friends.

But after a month of the break up, he just ignored me completely. 6 months on I just sent a nice apology for any hard feelings. And again still ignored me.

Please don't answer with he is your ex, why are you bothered. I know he still talks to all his other exes including the cheater, so why not me? Why was I different?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You stated 'I didn't seem to be what he wanted.' Everything is wrong with this sentence. You assumed to know how he felt. And by the looks of it you hurt him by breaking up with him. I think this is the problem. And you know it too. Why would he be your friend. He told you he was devastated when you broke up. Who wants to be friends with someone if he was deeply in love and will see you to on to date someone else. Don't pretend you have no clue. He hangs out with those girls cos he wasn't in love. With you he was. You must let him go. Stop texting him. He deserves happiness. He just can't be friends with you. That is the reason and if you are a nice person you will accept he doesn't want to be friends.

    • Yeah I guess you're right. But I suppose what made it more confusing was he started dating another girl after only 4 weeks, so to me that seemed like he never wanted me anyway. Guess lack of communication was apparent on both sides not just mine. if he did love me he should have made it known better, and I should have asked him and searched for some clear answers. I will leave him be now don't worry.

    • Ya agreed but guys are strange. They won't say things like us. If he talks to you fine. But maybe a little distance wouldn't hurt. :) I think he possibly dated someone after four weeks was cos he was hurting. Who knows? But I def get the feeling he liked you an awful lot.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I think that he ignores you because there is no point in replying. It won't 'solve' the breakup will it.

    It will only hurt more if he talks to you.

    He just wants you back. And if he can't have that, he just wants to heal. The best way to do that is to go no contact.

    I think that's the reason.


What Girls Said 2

  • You said he was devastated. He's moving on with his life. Obviously he feels it is better for him to not be in contact with you. I think you should respect that.

  • Maybe that the relationships he had prior to you lacked the depth that your relationship had and so it was easier to maintain contact with them. If he was devastated when you left him, I would say that he had some strong feelings for you and finds it easier to ignore you. Saying he wanted to remain friends is obviously confusing, but it's probably because he thought that's what he wanted at the time. This obviously really got to him and he needs time to heal. Maybe further down the road he could change his mind, but as of right now just give him the space he appears to need.

    How do you know he is still in contact with the others? Another possibility, which I highly doubt, is that he could be dating someone who isn't as secure as you and doesn't want him in contact with ANY of his exes. But like I said, that seems unlikely.


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