Would having my friend reach out to an ex be a bad idea?

So my girlfriend recently cut me off completely. Funny too because she had even confessed that she thinks she's falling in love with me. Then after a stressful weekend she deleted me on Facebook and ignored me.

I've tried to reach out and got nothing. My female friend has several theories as to why and suggested we do one of three things. First being for us to go to her house and confront her. This could either be bad or good. The second is that my friend could call her and talk to her. She said she can either say I don't know she's doing this or say I wanted her to. Again though, it could either backfire or be beneficial. The third option is to just forget it all together. I run the risk of never getting closure but I also don't risk being pushy if she's dealing with stuff and just needs space. Thoughts?

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  • i would send her one message telling her you love her and you see a long term relationship with her could really turn into something amazing but you're happy to give her space and leave it at that, if she comes round within a month then gently ask her what was the matter and if she never contacts you again then just move on and forget her but at least she won't be able to complain that you didn't care and abandoned her when she was having a bad weekend.

    i do think its unacceptable behaviour for her to throw her weight around and delete you though unless you were the cause of her stress, don't go to her house and confront her it won't end well as she will feel cornered and will argue defensively and your friend may mean well but the girlfriend will feel attacked by your friends and may distance herself even more or accuse you of not being able to handle your own problems

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    • Those are all valid points. I did send her a message a few days ago saying that I care about her and will be here if/when she's ready to talk. It's been two weeks though so I'm not holding my breath. Although, admittedly, I have screwed up a relationship or two due to my drive to want to know why something went south, where if I had just backed off things would have turned around. It's just annoying to be cut off in such a way. If she comes around she better have a good reason or I may be done.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I would go for the third option. No relationship should cause so much uncertainty and confusion. The one thing I have learned over years is that closure is a luxury. It's not often that we get closure from relationships that don't work out. The power of closure is really in your own hands. When you empower yourself to say, "forget it. This isn't worth the drama or the anxiety" and free yourself to move on into something better, that my friend is the best closure one can get ;)

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    • I only humor the other options because I wonder if there could be more to it. I have seen it happen in the past where a girl thought her guy was cheating on her so she dumped him without any word, and it turned out to not be the case. I'm not saying that's what happened, but it's food for thought.

    • Oh hey... I totally agree. It could be something else. But if you've reached out without a response from her I would not feed into this behaviour. She'll come to you to communicate if/when she's ready, but it's also not cool on her part to close of communication like that. So don't reward her for it either.

    • I guess you're right. Gah this whole thing sucks! I really liked her too. Oh well.

  • "US" confronting her...

    YOUR FRIEND could call her...

    or forget about it.

    Well your friend shouldn't be involved at all. If you can handle your own relationships then you shouldn't have one at all. Don't use your friend as your emotional support and to out-number your ex-girlfriend.

    The signs are showing me that she isn't at a time and place in her life where she wants to fall in love. This is for her to decide.

    You should leave her alone or if you do choose to do something then do it YOURSELF

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    • I have done plenty myself, and have just been ignored. As it has even been said, it is unfair for her to just cut me off without any sort of explanation. If she doesn't want to tell me, then maybe she would tell my friend. That was the initial thought, at least.

    • "have just been ignored" ... because she doesn't want to talk about it

    • It's been two weeks. I really think it's something other than "she just doesn't want to talk about it"

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