Was it just a booty call or does he still love me?

My ex recently insisted I come over when he found out some incredibly difficult things I had been through. After I finally gave in he offered support and consoled me in a way that actually helped me through it. He was affectionate and treated me as if no time had gone by. It's been a year since we broke up. He cuddled me and called me baby. Just like he used to. He tried to kiss me a few times before I finally gave in and the kiss was just as strong and intense as it was up until the last time we were together. I didn't sleep with him. My mind just wasn't there.

I can't imagine him taking advantage of the situation for his benefit. But I'm really confused. Did he actually still feel all those things or was he just lonely. We're both in out mid thirties and have a very long history that goes back almost 20 years.

Would a guy do that? Or is it possible he still feels everything that I know is still there. I just don't think it will ever go away between us.

Our breakup had nothing to do with feelings, but rather circumstances that I don't want to go into.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Has he contacted you since this incident? How long ago was it. Do you know if he has been or is in a relationship since the break up? How much contact have you two had since the break up

    If you've known each other for 20 years. There will always be a comfort zone with you two.

    Would a guy take advantage of a vulnerable woman? Yes, some would.

    Now I'm not saying he doesn't want to start see you again. He may very well.

    But if he hasn't been in a relationship since you broke up. He may very well have been trying to get his pickle dilled and nothing else.

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    • It's been about a year since we broke up. He definitely isn't seeing anyone now, at least in a committed sense. He was very vocal about that. By I can't say for sure in the last 12 months. We've spoken/texted every couple of days since that night (happened early jan) and talked about seeing eachother again. He's a little hot and cold though. I guess me too since I've been playing the friend card and was pretty standoffish with him that night. (I've actually been trying to get over someone else)

    • OK. Knowing that there has been contact since that night. I don't think it was just for a booty call. It does seem like he was trying to help you through a hard time. But with the kissing it very much is a mixed signal.

      My personal thoughts are he was wanting sex.

      But at the same time he was testing the waters to see if there is a possibility of a relationship. I think this because of the contact since. We can speculate all night, but you need to talk/ask him. Only he knows for sure.

    • You're right. The only way I'll know for sure is if I ask. I'll just have to wait and address it next time we're together.

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What Guys Said 2

  • yes, and yes..

    would a guy do that? yes

    was he that guy that night? we can't say, you need to ask him for the real answer.

    or see if he calls you.

    has he talked to you since? within a week? if yes, the he's not the yes in the first question.

    is it possible feelings are still there? yes absolutely!

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  • IMO, after reading all this, there are still some smoldering feelings there for you.

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    • Forgive me. I can't tell if you're being sarcastic! I'm discovering now that I'm hoping your statement is right, but I don't really know how to ask/find out w/out possibly making things awkward between us.

    • I'm not being sarcastic here. Just because two people break up doesn't mean that one person stops caring for the other.

      Since the breakup was a "good breakup" (as in it wasn't doused in negative feelings), odds are high that he still has positive feelings for you.

      However, you don't know his complete circumstances at this moment as in if he is open to seeing anyone.

      If you ask him, ask him over the phone if you feel he'll be awkward about that in person.

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