At the beginning of my relationship my boyfriend stated that he would rather not know the details of guys I had ever slept with which I agreed was fine. About 4 men I had slept with years ago I had stayed friends with since we were friends for quite a few years before the hookup occurred. Also for years I stayed single and found it nice having male friends as a source of comfort and nice company. I kept in contact with them as I started my relationship last may. Maybe hung out and watched a movie or went to the pub once or twice but mostly just stayed in touch via text. At Christmas my boyfriend was angry at me for something completely unrelated to this story but nevertheless looked through my phone (which I didn't care if he did that cause there is nothing to hide). He saw basic conversations some of which weren't even recent from these men. He flipped and asked whether I had ever slept with these guys I stay I touch with. I told the truth and said yet but they were all 5+ years ago and nothing sexual has ever happened since. He then asked why I lied to him for the last 7 months. I didn't think I was. Going back to the whole conversation about keeping the details about people we have slept with to ourselves I thought that's what he wanted. He says next to cheating that was the worst thing I could have done to him. Now he feels betrayed and doesn't know if he can trust me again. For one I've never cheated on him nor have I ever even thought about it and second he has been cheated on before our relationship. I care about my boyfriend very much so I deleted my Facebook, instagram and also personally msgd each guy saying that I disrespected my boyfriend by keeping In contact with them when we've hooked up before and ended all contact with them now. I've done those things to prove I'm not out to cheat. Do you think its worth breaking up with me over this miscommunication error?
Would you break up with someone who stayed friends with people they've hooked up with?
What Guys Said 1
I don?t think this was a miscommunication error. He accused you of cheating on him which is completely false. He accused you of being dishonest with him when you were completely honest. Now he has pushed you to end friendships to prove yourself to him. And that may not be enough. It is impossible to prove a negative so you can never prove to him that you are not lying. If he insists on it without evidence of any sort, he would appear to be refusing to trust you and now this refusal is controlling your life.
I?m sorry that he was cheated on in a past relationship. However you do not deserve to punished for someone else?s wrongs. You deserve to be trusted for who you are on face value. If he?s going to always assume the worst about you no matter what happens and if he will dictate who you can be friends with, I question whether this can ever be a healthy relationship.