Can two people really feel the same way?

I was with a guy for a little less than 3 months. When I met him, I had no intention of falling in love. During this time though, we got really close and our feelings for each other were EXTREMELY intense. I mean, I was in love before even knowing him 3 months, and I could definitely see a future with him. We both have been hurt before, and we both said that we were afraid to get attached to one another, which, we ended up doing anyway.

As much as I liked him, I was scared to death. I was afraid that everything would end and one of us would be hurt, and I honestly just needed a break from him. I wanted to be back with him eventually, but I needed time to take a step back and think about what I wanted, and to casually date other people. This may sound horrible, but I panicked, thinking that this may be the last guy I date! I hid these feelings from him for a couple weeks, because I didn't want to hurt him, but after a while, I couldn't hold it in anymore! The day that I was going to tell him these feelings, HE told me he needed to work on some things, and now he's messing around with other people!

Is it possible that he was thinking the same thing, and just beat me to the punch? People have told me this idea, but it seems impossible that he felt the same thing!


Most Helpful Girl

  • In my experience with many men, and how I know myself, both of you got "cold feet" before you both even had a chance to take---a chance, you might say.

    You have obviously been very hurt before in a relationship, and put up a safe guard, which, I don't blame you at all. One can never be too careful today. And you got scared, thinking one or both of you were going to end up hurt.

    Isn't it strange how fate works, and what a situation will make us realize. On the very day you happen to plan on telling him you wanted a break to think things out, HE tells you, in turn, that HE "needed ..."blah, blah, blah...What he was trying to tell you is that he wanted his space, and that he was not ready for a real relationship. He, in essence, got "cold duck feet," because although he really cared about you, got close to you, and things got really "heated up," he ended up "waddling his tail" back to the pond and found himself "playing in the water" again.

    You obviously were MORE in love with him and took things more seriously, which perhaps, your intelligent "sixth sense, woman's intuition" told you to "start quacking" to him of your new found feelings of fear. However Daffy beat you to it, and now you know. He beat you to the "punch," alright... And I imagine you wish you could give him "ONE" right where it hurts, right?

    But being you were ready to take this break, not really knowing how long you needed to be away from him to think it all out, he, in essence, would have ended up a "cooked goose." Now, in another part of the wing, if HE had been the one to throw "his bird's eye view" into things, YOU, in turn, would have ended up "flying the coup." It's almost like a catch22 situation. How "exclusive " you were, not sure, you didn't say.

    For now, it seems you both have wandered off in different directions, but who is to say if one day you just might end up-----"Two birds of a feather."xx

    • This comment made me smile, just because I was picturing little ducklings waddling around lol. And we were dating, but not "boyfriend/girlfriend" if that makes sense. When I was initially saying that I wanted a break from him, I was thinking 2 weeks, but now, with everything that went on in my life (super busy with school), I know 2 weeks wouldn't have been enough! I think you hit the nail on the head!

    • Sweetie, I get your drift here...Now you've got me smiling...Thanks for making my nite..It's been one "quacked up" day..":))Take care, and now---you can take all the time you need..As far as "hitting the nail", I usually do...Some Major jerk(poor slob)actually got very mad at me and blocked me because I told him the truth..Never had that before, but there is truly a "quack" in every

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  • i was in a similar situation, it's over now


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