Same social group as EX bf?

I go to the same college as my ex, and we were dating on and then off for about a year and a month. He broke up with me a while back because his parents didn't really like me, I wasn't loud enough or opinionated too "quiet" and probably not religious enough for him. He tells me that we just weren't a good "fit" and that his families opinion is more important to him and they want us to be friends. So then I told him that I would be willing to talk with his parents if he did it with me but he said no. And then immediately after tells me that he still needs me in his life, and can we please be friends somehow.

Now it's been about a month or so (after our break-up) and we're back in school, he told me that he tried to text me over break but I never got his texts and then Skype me but I blocked him because he hurt me, really badly. So we belong to the same social group that hangs out everyday in our student common room and it's like how do I handle this?

We talked about what went wrong in our relationship with differences we had on certain issues ie abortion, gay rights (which I am pro for) and how we were hot and cold sometimes. I knew that there was nothing left when he said that "He loved me but wasn't in love with me."

He wants to be friends, but tells me that every time we're together we make the other slightly crazy and when we are in the same room he feels like he's causing me pain, but I just want advice on how to handle this? Do I just stop going to hang out? I don't want my other friends to think I'm out and can't face the world.

The part that really hurts the most, was that I tried my best to make it work and even told him I'd talk to his parents to see what I could work on if he did it with me, and he said no. He didn't want me to get hurt and wouldn't stand with me. How can I handle this situation, how do I let this go? I told him I would've done whatever it took, and in the end I loved him more which hurts.

any advice would be helpful, sorry guys and gals.


Most Helpful Guy

  • No apologies needed.

    I'm not a fan of ex's hanging out with each other. It's usually more grief than it's worth. You are in college, and that's the time to broaden your social horizons. Perhaps you should do that. Strike out and find new friends and new social groups. This doesn't mean you have to abandon your current social circle, but it means you can spend more time with others and less time with a guy who hurts. You can be polite and civil to him. You can even be friendly, but not necessarily his friend. By the way, it does strike me as a little odd that he gives so much weight to his family at a time when he should be finding his own way.

    Broadening your social horizons has the added benefit that you will increase your contacts, people who might prove a valuable resource both in life and in your career. A lot of people meet business partners in college. Who knows, you might even meet another guy who you fall for and who will fall for you...

    • Thank you for your advice and optimism, I will try and meet new friends and keep my old ones but you're right, I can at least say that I learned a lot of life lessons from the relationship but now is the time to meet other new, diverse people that will challenge my ideals and make me question things and just learn to grow. Thank you much for your advice. :)

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