Can some guy translate that for me? talk vs actions.

His words and actions do not really match, so what does he really mean?

1) he says he's afraid running into me by accident, but he visits matching friends in my small hometown and also goes partying in my usual partyspots, he never went to before. so am I supposed to hide now? it's provoking...why does he do that?

2) even though he wanted to concentrate on himself (studies, work, fitness) he is back to smoking weed every single day and doing nothing. it got even worse after our break-up. to me it sounds pitiful, and that he tries to avoid free-time (which leads to over thinking in his case), but why would he need that, if he is perfectly 'happy' without me/ doesn't care about me?

3) I was talking with his best girlfriend (which is a friend of mine too). she told me he is fine, she talks daily to him, never about me. I recently got to know she showed him screenshots of our convos and he is uptodate with what I'm doing and how I am feeling. I don't think she would just tell him without him asking. why does he do that, if he is perfectly fine without me/ over me?


current situation:

i wanted to break up a months ago, since I thought he lost his feelings for me. we talked about everything and for 2 weeks it went between being all fine to really worse. two weeks ago he still told his friends, that we would have gotten back together, if I haven't been this clingy (I never was before, only started after I feared of losing him)

now he told one of my best friends via phone, that he is over me, doesn't love me anymore, thinks we weren't matching in the first place but already realized that when I wanted to break up originally. (doesn't match with what his best friends say really)

i am kind of disappointed now, but I really love and miss him a lot.

we are in no contact for 2 weeks now (well minus that I sometimes hear stuff from friends).

i have no clue what he really thinks about the situation and if all is really lost now...

thoughts about that are highly apprecciated!


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What Guys Said 2

  • I suspect that he's not over you. He goes to too much trouble to try to convince others that he is. His behavior seems to be focused on you one way or another. And realistically, few people get over others that quickly.

    However, not being over you is very different than wanting to get back together. You should not equate the two. He has to get over this need to convince himself that he's fine and disinterested in you before he can be honest about what he really wants. When that happens it could go either way. I don't know that there is much you can do about this because he will only insist that he's not interested. All you can do is what at this point.

  • He is that stoned , you are clingy , start fresh with someone else ;)


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