Are break ups a race?

Hi the title says it all really!

I'm 6 months into a breakup and I finally feel like I'm over my ex and the whole black hole that a break up is.

The main reason that makes me think I'm over the worst of it, is that I can look at a girl without thinking what my ex would think of her or compare a new girl to her in any way.

But before this, the breakup felt like a race. I was constantly bothered about Who moved on first, who was happier first, who got over who first. I

Is this a common thing? And if it is a race what difference does it make who wins?


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What Girls Said 2

  • mmm it is not really a race , it is about who is capable of accepting reality and regaining ability of moving on first , but I believe it depend on the level of attachment a couple had , if it was so deep on both sides it usually take them the same time to forget , do you get it ? , and if it was a race , the only difference it make the winner is that we know he/she could fit in the new situation faster , and not that he/she didn't love the ex the same the ex did . it is more about the ability of suiting the situation . and I believe so much in the saying ''it is not the longest time we have so spent in a relationship that matters , but how much feelings were invested '' ..:)

  • I honestly think about it too. when my partner and I broke up, it hurt, even though I wanted the break. I'm not on a race with him. In the end, we wished each other happiness.

    at the beginning we both thought we'd be together till we're old. so sometimes, that's life. cliche, I'm sorry.

    my advice is not to focus on the 'race' to rush into anything, that's like diving headfirst into a concrete wall.

    there have been guys to ask me out, I have said no to all since it's just not healthy at the moment. I haven't recovered yet, at the same time, I'm not showing that.

    be confident, the key to happiness is you. It's not about the girl, surprisingly. I learnt this the hard way long ago, the guy doesn't make me happy. It's me who does for myself. think about it. dating shouldn't be a game to the first to bring home a trophy anyways, a moral transgression takes place when that happens, plus it isn't healthy to put that burden on yourself.


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