What is the relation between losing a job and breaking up with girlfriend for guys?

My boyfriend lost his job and he wants to break up with me. He said I deserve better.

I just don't understand why guys can't maintain relationship just because they lost a job?

I know he was planning a lot about his future with me around his job but...

I have heard that guys always want to feel like they are on the top of their game. Other wise they feel depressed and stressed that they can not maintain good relationship...

Why does this happen?

I am just asking in general...


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's called a "man with his pride," sweetie. Simple as that. Any time something BIG happens in their life that "strikes them down" along with their deflated ego, they feel like a loser, not good enough for not only themselves, but anyone else as well. So often, not only are they suffering, but they are making the people around them suffer with them.

    My advice to you, before the "bottom breaks up" here, go to your sweetie, and make him feel that you are there for him. Make him feel and---believe--that he is going to be not only BETTER, but he IS better for you, and that you will help him find another job, and that you will give him "love support" through this time of hardship.

    If he loves you and cares anything about you and your relationship, he will put his tail between his hairy legs, and put that "foolish pride" behind him, and allow you to guide him---in another "well deserved" direction.

    Good luck to you both..:))xx


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Men still feel the pressures of their traditional roles as breadwinners for their family. We have been brought up since birth to think that being able to provide = you are a man.

    Just as women are raised to think they are the nurturers of children. How would you feel as a woman and wife, if you could not bear children for your husband? To women, "you cannot have children" = you are not a woman.

    Women are often the support structure of a relationship. If your boyfriend has lost his job, he will definitely feel inadequate. His morale is low, he is stressed about bills and finding another job...etc. It is YOUR JOB as a girlfriend to notice these changes in his behavior and SUPPORT HIM. I don't mean financially. I mean emotionally and psychologically. If you start paying his bills, you will de-masculinize him.

    You need to tell him things that will raise his morale and self worth.

    Remind him that in today's world, people switch jobs every 2-5 years. Long gone are the days where people work for one employer for their entire lives. Whether he is fired, or leaves on his own, switching jobs is a way of life in today's society.

    Switching jobs means he gets to work with new people and learn new things from others. It allows a person to grow, instead of becoming stagnant in the same job every day.

    If you love him, you need to remind him that your relationship is not based on money. And that financial problems with him losing his job are SHORT TERM. But you guys being together are LONG TERM.

    I could keep going, but I think you understand.

  • I can tell you from personal experience.

    I lost a great job, new management... Anyhow, I was terrified and called her at once. She was upset with me as if I could have prevented it or I caused it to happen.

    It was a double whammy. All the sudden I'm worried about everything and loosing her too. It was hell to say the least. Well, she did leave me..

    I am also a single father of 2 great kids and felt like a failure.

    The honest truth became very clear to me later after I had landed a better job and healed from the breakup.

    I was taught that a man is to provide, no matter what! Life happens but men are supposed to be the stability of the home. My mother stayed at home so that is why I was taught that men provide. More often today there are double income families, divided families and so forth. But traditionally raised men like myself are father taught to be providers. Not being able to provide even for a moment is devastating to our being.

    This is very easily calmed almost instantly by the love of a spouse. Support and understanding goes a very long way. The more wonderful your family and friend support are the better it is and the smoother things even out. My belief is if in the relationship the truth comes out during hard times. In my case, she left. That really was hard. But after a couple months she tried to come back.. That is where I am today... she wants back?

    I'm doing better than I ever have and think that might be a big part of it.

    I'm a HVAC sales manager not a counselor of any kind. So this is just my opinion. I hope I haven't offended anyone.

  • Plenty of guys think money is necessary to keep girls happy.

    Or at the very least, they think relationships are hard work and stressful at the best of times. And when you lose a job, there's more than enough stress to go around. You don't need the added stress of trying to make someone else feel happy.

    What your boyfriend is saying, inadvertently, is that he doesn't think he can rely on you or lean on you or count on you for support. He has old fashioned ideas about who should be the strong supportive one in the relationship, and it's not you.


What Girls Said 1

  • Guys think all girls care about is money so they think that without a job she'll see him as less of a man and so will not love him. So they want to break up before that "greedy bitch" that was once his love does it for him and uses his lack of money as the reason. So they use it first because that somehow makes it better. *Rolls eyes*.


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