Getting my boyfriend back?

My boyfriend and I are on a break and we booth agreed we needed space from one another and we decided that we'll sort things out when he gets back.

In the process he told me I could date other people, which I'm guessing means he's giving himself the license to fool around over there and not get yelled at by me when he gets back.

After he stated that, I'd told him I wouldn't forgive him if he did anything with anyone over there, so he'll probably double think that statement of his if he decides to do something stupid because he made it clear that he definitely wants to be with me when he gets back. I've made it clear that I won't wait for him forever and that I'm not a consolation prize.

I have a good 5 months before he gets back here so from now I want to know what it is I have to do to make sure he gets back to me and wants to stay there.

any helpful suggestions, links, books or advice are welcome! :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, I don't know your exact situation.

    How long have you been with him?

    WHY does he want a break?

    WHY is he away for so long?

    Sorry to be so personal, but just trying to figure what's going between you two.

    From my own experience, breaks suck! However, everytime I have had a break, he always came back to me.

    You just need to keep a straight head about this. Number one, I would tell him that you do not want the break. Cuz, clearly, I do not think you do love! And, then go from there!

    Make clear that you do not want him fooling around with anyone else and that you won't tolerate that.

    You need to know why he wants this break, as well.

    If he still insists on a break, and you choose to stay with him through this, then you need to stay calm and 'cool' about it.

    Don't show that you are overly needy. Just more or less, treat him as a friend. Don't show him that things bother you, or you get jealous. But, be FIRM. If he is messing about with other girls, let him know that you aren't interested anymore in him, because he shows no value in you.

    You need to show him that you ARE a great catch! And, by standing your ground in a nice manner, you will.

    Just be open at first and let him know how exactly you feel. Then, go from there and update us!

    xoxo hugs to you love! Breaks are so terrible to go through

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    • We've been together for a year, he's gone abroad on a scholarship (yes I'm dating a nerd)

      He said he didn't want to hurt me any more and he didn't want to feel bad because he forgot to talk to me (which would become very often eventually because of the time difference, which is about 6 hours... I'm the one who's in the time zone that's ahead, and the many tours and outings he'll take) I've taken this break better than the last one.

    • He knows that I won't forgive him if he does anything with any other girl, which I think was a smart thing to say on my part because he cannot use that as an excuse anymore.

      And I'll know if he lies to me or not, I have people who can get everything out of him.

      Now I need to know what to do to make him want to come by my side, and stay there.

    • Honestly, it sounds like he is just scared because you are long distance. It can work though! I know you are both busy, but if you love each other, it can work. Maybe he is worried you will get lonely and mess around with other guys? I think you need to call him! And, call him now. Tell him you love him and you don't need a man in your life, but you WANT HIM. And, that you and him can make it work. You just have to understand the time zone difference. And @ your nerd, nerds are awesome!

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What Guys Said 3

  • He won't double think the statement, he'll use it as an excuse to sleep with whoever he wants. You should have been straightforward and told him how you feel.

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    • how? when she said she wouldn't forgive him? I am just curious as a girl lol

    • Show All
    • The reason we took the first break was because he didn't want to be a bad boyfriend by not talking to me on time because of the time difference and because our days are so different. At that time we both didn't want to date other people.

      Then this time he told me I could date other people. I told him if he fooled around with some other girl I couldn't forgive him. He asked me why I was being possessive, I told him not to expect any less after a whole year together.

    • That got him quiet. So I'm hoping that sentence of mine will run through his mind whenever he thinks of doing something. I told him it may be frustrating, but after all the bullshit I've put up from him, I deserve that much respect.

      So yeah, I just hope he has the sense to keep it in his pants. He won't make it known to his family because it was difficult enough for him to tell his family in the first place. I've kept quiet because everything was too rocky.

  • Buy a large fisherman's net sneak up behind him, and capture him with it. He will struggle to get himself out and will become tangled in the process.

    Then, while in the net handcuff him, gag him, shackle him, toss him in the back of your car and drive home. Drag him inside your house, get another pair of handcuffs, and then lock him to your bed. Feed him once every 5 hours and give him a bucket to excrete his waste into.

    Congratulate yourself, you got him back!

    i'm only kidding of course, that would be morally reprehensible

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    • haha I am sorry, but how is this advice?

    • LOL! I have a question, what if I wanted to feed him every six hours? I have a life, you know.

    • Not particularly helpful ,but amusing to read... hahahaha.

  • When he gets back from where? Is he in the military or something?

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    • He's gone abroad to Europe on a six month scholarship and I'm in Asia, studying

What Girls Said 2

  • He made it clear that he thinks you guys are pretty much broken up. (aka can hook up with other people). he wants to keep you on the bench until he's ready to pick you back up again. That'd be an unacceptable situation for me. The consolation prize comment is valid. He'll probably hook up and then lie to you. By the way why did you agree to this? You don't have to be on a "break" where he sets the rules and you don't get a say. If you don't think it's acceptable to date other people, say so!

    Don't take him back. he wants to have his cake and eat it too! Selfish selfish selfish

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    • agreed agreed agreed! lol +1

    • I've got people who can get the truth out of him, so I'm not bothered if he lies or not, I'll always know the truth. I've set my ground rules too, like no doing other people. That he chooses to follow it is a different thing. If I do decide to take him back, I won't do so till he works for it enough.

      Who knows, 5 months is a long time, maybe I won't want him anymore.

  • Could it be possible that he feels bad that you may get lonely when he is gone, and he doesn't want to hold you back if you have feelings for someone else? I think it was good of you to make it clear of your expectations with him before he left.

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    • I hope you're right about this. At this point all I can do is just hope things work out. I just want to know how to make sure that he stays with me when he gets back.

    • from what question asker has said, I think anon is right.

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