Most Helpful Guy
I was with the same female for quite a few years. I was not a lush or strung out when we met, nor was I a virgin in any sense. As I spiraled out of control using drugs (meth, crack, coke, weed) as well as alcohol, I became a different person. Physically, mentally and socially. I was mean, rude and down right an as$hole. We did not split up before or durring my road to recovery. I could have blamed my usage on being sexually abused for a decade, being raped (sodomized) when I was 8 as well as forced oral. I could blame it on being adopted and feeling abandoned by my biological parents. Bullying for being overweight. The list goes on. What it comes down to is that it is my fault that I used and or abused the abve listed substances. No one made me try them or use them on a daily basis. It took about a year and a half of treatment and finding the real me under all the pain and self hate. After I came home we found that we really HATED one another. Things that I liked or thought I liked were in fact not anything that I liked. Even though I said that I would never use again or raise my voice, it did not last long. The first real fight/argument that we had I was off looking to have that freight train going through my head again - I wanted to be comfortably numb. This led to me going on a two week binge, a heart attack from the drugs (free basing cocaine) and ending up serving a year in prison. If he has already cheated on you or treated you like shit, then trust me - it won't change. Do you want to be used and/or abused or loved and appreciated? A lot of things can happen or change in a year. If something does happen or change and he is in a year lock down program and you are leading him on then it's not going to help him or you in the long run... I wish you the best of luck. I also agree with summiter, you do deserve better.