Should I still go if my ex is there?

My best friend is having her birthday get together this weekend at her brothers house with a bunch of our friends. Her brother is my ex boyfriend. Let's just say we hooked up a couple of weeks ago and I haven't talked to him since. Big Mistake that night. I was drunk :/ We do talk to when we see each other but for me it's awkward.. I'm trying to go no contact with him at all. No Facebook, talking, I'm trying to avoid him to forget him but it's hard too since this is a small town and it's hard not to bump into him.

I really want to go because she's my best friend. All of our friends are going to be there. I know she would be hurt if I didn't. I'm not sure if I should go or just tell her I can't because of some reason..or if I should just go and act like nothing happened..

I can't tell her exactly why because it will just make things worse...

What would you do..

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Most Helpful Girl

  • GO. it's your best friend. don't hurt her just because you made a mistake with her brother. we all make mistakes. you can't change it and avoiding him is obviously not possible anyway. don't miss her party over this, it's not worth it. go, have fun with your friends, don't let it be awkward. those are your friends, probably not really is, so if anyone is going to feel awkward it will probably be him. worse comes to worst he will bring it up and then you guys will talk about it. whatever is making you uncomfortable could be out in the open and then the awkwardness could go away. just go and have fun. trust me, from someone who has these kind of situations with guys all the time, no guy should be worth missing your best friend's birthday party. you will regret it.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You didn't really break up, he's not an ex. You just banged him. Go to your best friend's party. You owe it to her.

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  • Keeping in mind it's a small town, she's your best friend, and all your friends are going... (basically you are in the same group with the guy) ...you should talk to him and straighten things out.

    OR if that's not possible you should simply go no matter how awkward it will be for you

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What Girls Said 2

  • Sweetie, from where I am sitting, if you Do Not go, you may be arousing more suspicion---and talk---than if you did go. And on top of hurting your best friend for not showing up, you may get this "surprise" later, to learn that the other "life of the party" has been "blowing out wind" around the birthday candles.

    I can sympathize with you wholeheartedly for feeling like an "uninvited guest,' to put it mildly. It's both humiliating and embarrassing, from what took place in the "heat of the nite," which ended in a circus act with Bozo bro. Awkward and shaky, as though walking on a tightrope.

    I do think you Should confront the birthday girl of what went on, in case the news should suddenly by surprise, Pop out like Barbie in a oversize cake. It would be much better, first handed, if it came "Out of the mouths of babes." You even said yourself this is a small town, and not only does everyone ram into each other, but when the "talk hits the sidewalk," it's one big party for the road. That, believe me, would "just make things worse."

    For what it's worth, you can't continue to live your life in fear and humiliation because of some "hook up" that ended in a hang-over. It will drive you to drink, putting all kidding aside. And perhaps with disclosing to your friend about you and her bro, it may just put some of those headaches to bed once and for all, and make life more bearable should you run smack into him on the street.xx

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  • It depends, it's not an easy answer. If you feel you can cope and the desire to be there for your best friend overshadows your embarrassment then you should go. I'm sure it would be fun and you could easily find ways to distract yourself, yet there's the chance you'll run into him or he'll see you can come over. I don't know the guy so I can't say if he'd ignore you or not.

    Personally I'd go, I'd fight through the awkwardness and go. You can always leave early if you feel uncomfortable and at least your friend would know you were there for her. It all depends on if you feel you can cope at least partly with seeing him there.

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