We are ment to be together but he chose his girlfriend, I can't live with knowing he still wants me.

Two weeks ago I met a guy & found him attractive. We became friends on Facebook & I found out he had a girlfriend which he was in love with & though I was disappointed I still talked to him cause he is everything I ever wanted in a guy. We went to a party together & he was there with his girlfriend. We were drinking & having fun. At one point I went to the bathroom to fix my hair and he followed me in where he grabbed me, said I am beautiful and irrisistable & then went in for a kiss which I first rejected & reminded him he has a girlfriend but he said he didn't care & kissed me. The kiss felt incredible, it was like magic.These secret kisses carried on for the whole night & whenever we got a second alone we would be in each others arms, the attraction was so strong. That night we met up in the bathroom & had sex, afterward he came back to my room to reassure me he wasn't using me, he just finds me irrisistable & that there is something mysterious & different about me (hearing this melted my heart). He kissed me & went back to his room but a few hours later I was woken up by him climbing into my bed and saying that I am too irrisistable and he wants me, we had sex again.The next day we kept glancing at each other from across the room & I wasn't sure if he regreted what we did but at one point he kissed me again & reassured me he didn't which made me the happiest I have ever been, that this perfect guy did actually want me.After going home we talked for hours, it came down to it that we both really wanted to be together but he cheated on his girlfriend & felt bad about it, he thought he loved his girlfriend but after meeting me he felt that we are meant to be together however he can't just throw away his life, he wanted to see me again so we met the next day.

It was awkward at first, I didn't want to be forceful because it was his relationship that was at risk & I didn't want to ruin things for him, later on however,after he kissed me we felt more relaxed. We said that everything seems right when we are together & we are so happy. I still had thoughts going through my mind that it cannot be true that this perfect guy likes me, but he did. Not only that, he wanted me & said I was perfect for him. Though at the end of the day when standing on opposite sides of his kitchen, I was just looking at him & he was looking back into my eyes, he then grabbed his chest and covered his mouth like his heart was hurting & had to sit down because he was confused, he wanted me but had his life already sorted out. It broke my heart seeing him like that. That night we both cried in our own homes and he self harmed, I called him at night to make sure he's alright & after our conversation he said that he knows for sure he wants me, that I am perfect and that I HAVE HIS HEART

The next day he called me saying he is sorry but he can't leave his life & girlfriend for me even though he has strong feelings for me.I feel I don't want to live anymore ,im selfharming & I need him but I have to leave him alone. what should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't even know where to start. If I was going to write a play about a young girl who did stupid stuff and got hurt from it, no one would believe your story because it hit every cliche out there.

    But here's a short list of things to do:

    1) Stop having causal sex with guys

    2) Stop having sex with guys with girlfriends -as you found out, they never leave and you get played

    3) Stop hanging out with idiots who cut themselves and act like drama queens.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • 1) this was not just some casual sex, it was pure passion

      2)he wasn't playing me, he still wants me he's just not brave enough

      3)he is not an idiot, self harming is some peoples way of dealing with problems,

      thanks for the list but that's stuff I maybe shouldn't have done but what am I suppose to do now when we both still feel we are meant to be together

    • Show All
    • But seriously it's like..this shit doesn't bother you man? It's like watching a girl about to drink poison or loading a gun and pointing the barrel at her own foot, COMPLETELY ready to fire, and being too stupid to even know what she's about to do.

      Like, I WANT to help her, explain EVERYTHING she's doing wrong, and that in reality, she's her OWN worst enemy, but I know she wouldn't understand. No one ever does UNTIL they experience it. So I'm forced to watch her practically shoot herself.

    • What I've learned is people can always rationalize their crappy decisions...look at her justifications. After a while, you're just ranting and raving, they never learn and repeat the behavior. You end up only stressing yourself out. Sometimes people do have to make their own mistakes to learn the lesson, and you have to let them. At least she's not my daughter or close friend where I'd have to deal with the clean-up.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm not even going to read this. I literally skimmed it and caught like, 5 words, and I could FEEL the teenage stupidity emanating off of it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • you are 20? I went back to see how old you were after the first few sentences expecting to see like 13 or 14!

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  • Okay, this guy sounds like he's seriously confused. He's jerking you around to the point that you feel like you can't live without him! I'm pretty sure you were functioning fine before you met him only two weeks ago. He told you everything you wanted to hear and more, promised you everything you wanted.

    Now let's think of the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend (ignoring the fact that it was you)- that's never a good sign...if he would that easily kiss another girl, and actually go all the way multiple times with a girl who wasn't his girlfriend, what does that say about his judgement? He claims he loves her but he would risk everything to be with someone he literally just met. I know it hurts to hear but I feel like this guy is trouble for you, and considering you are in this state of self-harming because of him, I think he's poison to you. He's going to continue to jerk you around and play with your feelings, which he probably influenced by saying all of those things to you.

    The whole thing just sounds really unhealthy to me. I think you'd better distract yourself from this guy and go back to how you were a couple weeks ago - you don't need him to live, he just convinced you of that.

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