Stranger kissed me AND my friend! I have a boyfriend!

I've been in a long distance relationship for a year+. My girl friend and I used to go to the bars a lot. One bar we always went to is very busy and we know some of the bouncers from going there often. Some people get let in the bar through VIP without waiting in line and my friend and I asked one of the bouncers who was not working at the time about it. He said if we had his number and texted him he would get us in to VIP so we didn't have to wait. We were both excited and got his number. Then the bouncer turned to my friend and kissed her! I saw it since she was standing right next to me, and by the time I turned my head, he planted one on me! I pulled back but not in time since he was already in my face. Immediately my friend and I were stunned, walked away, and went home. I later texted the guy I had a boyfriend (which he did not know at the time) and what happened was not OK and I misunderstood his intentions. He replied thank you for being honest. I did not tell my boyfriend anything because I felt I had no role in this and didn't want him to worry.

I have absolutely no attraction to this guy and simply wanted a way to get into VIP at the bar. However, I realize how getting his number was not wise on my part even with these intentions. I did not want to kiss him -- nor did I ever think he would kiss me. If you were my boyfriend and found this out, how would you react? Does it make a difference this guy kissed my friend as well? Should I tell him myself even though this happened months ago?

Thank you.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Even though this happened months ago and you weren't in the wrong, it's obviously still bothering you, so yes I think you should tell him. Just explain that you mistinterpreted his intentions and that you pulled away as soon as you realized what he was doing and then left right away. I would also mention that you feel bad, even though it wasn't your action and that even though it's not that big of a deal, you just felt it was the right thing to do to tell him. What if he happened to find out from someone else who saw it? He'd be pissed and doubting his trust in you if that was the case.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You need to tell your boyfriend that not only are you using people to get in, but also that guys are kissing you because you're going to bars, without him (I realize he's long distance), but seriously? I would think you're over the bar scene, if you have a boyfriend


What Girls Said 1

  • I would tell him. I don't think this is really considered cheating, it happened without your consent, and you can't be blamed for what happened. It's obviously bothering you that your boyfriend does not know about this, so you should tell him to put you at ease. You should always be able to be honest to the person you're with.


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