My girlfriends ex is back in town and she slept with him already. What to do?

My girlfriend of a year and a half has an ex that is back in town after rehab. (alcohol) She told me he called her on Sun. And Tues. Night she told me she was meeting him. I calmly asked her to please not do that, but I wasn't going to beg. Well, he ended up staying the night. The next night she texted me at about 1:00 am wanting to know if I was still up. I was but didn't text her back. Then she sent a text that said " have a good day!" WTF? I haven't talked to her since. I don't know what to say or do. I know I treated her much better than he did even if he was sober. I know I love her, but she's afraid of the very word. My last relationship ended when my wife started bar hopping and screwing every guy in town. I love this girl, but I can't be a doormat.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're correct. It doesn't matter if she slept with him or not, the point is that she went to her ex's aid and spent the night with him. That is a no-no. I can't believe the disrespect you let her treat you with. That is a major red flag. You should've put your foot down when she even brought that up. Don't ask your girlfriend politely to disregard her ex, you should be taking it as, "If you go over there, this relationship is over. I don't put up with that kind of disrespect." She clearly still has feelings for her ex, I'm sorry man. You have to do what's right and what's HEALTHY for you now and break it off with this girl. I guarantee you will have issues with her later if you continue this relationship. You let her disrespect you. You showed her that you have no backbone and you let her walk over you like a doormat. To avoid being used and abused you should've been more like "WTF?" and completely questioned her about why she's going over to see her ex, if she still insisted that's when you show her the door and say bye, have a nice life.

    Now, you can still respect yourself right now and move on with your life. You should be living your life accordingly to what's best for you, not what's best or "fun" for her. You showed her that it's OK to disrespect you, don't disrespect yourself by allowing that. Be a man, stand up for yourself like you're talking about. I believe in you man. Life is what you make it, do what's best for you, not what's best for her.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Then don't be a doormat. She obviously doesn't value her as much as you value her. If she did, then she never would have met him without you there or would have just left it at a telephone conversation.

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  • what you did was best she didn't respect your feelings. What she did wasn't OK. you need to lay down how you feel if she doesn't feel like that's what she can do then you need to move on or you will be a doormat. She cheated period. Sounds like she is still into him ;/ I myself wouldn't put up with it I don't allow myself to be walked on. but its really a decision you have to make.

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What Guys Said 5

  • If your girl dropped what she was doing to go sleep around with her ex news flash my friend that ain't your girl. Many friend I know you say you love her, but my advice is to do like Forrest and run. If you stick around you're asking for a broken heart.

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  • I'd dump her faster than last nights dinner! Gone, gone , gone!

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  • Do you know for a fact that she slept with him or is it just what you're assuming happened?

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    • Found a package in the trash when I took it to the dumpsters for her. It was for a Playboy PLB320 leather g-string.

    • i thought you had no seen her since then. why would you be throwing her trash out?

  • What to do? Get rid of her & don't ever take her back. Have some self respect.

    It's shit like this that turns love to hate in a matter of seconds.

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  • You are correct in your thoughts. Once you become a doormat, there is literally no way ever to get out of it. As you saw with your ex wife, it just keeps getting worse and worse. Its happened to the best of us - my ex Girlfriend ended up preggo with another guy during a "break" she initiated. This was simply cause I kept taking her back after she messed around with him for years. It never stops once the girl has you forgiving her for being a ho.

    We both learned our lessons now time to let this one go on her way - the alchi guy is punishment enough for her, she won't be happy without you.

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