Controversial: If your husband had a child from an affair, what would you do?

So if you were a married woman and your husband had an affair that resulted in a child, what would you do?

Would you divorce him? Stay with him but not allow the child in the house? Stay with him and demand he cut off all contact with the mistress/child? Welcome him back with child in tow? If you already had kids with him would that make a difference? If you had kids, would you feel comfortable with integrating this other child into your family?

None of this applies to me, but one of my friend's parents is dealing with this situation right now and it's making me curious about what people would do.
  • Leave him forever
    Vote A
  • Take him back, allow him contact with child only, but banish child from your home
    Vote B
  • Take him back and require zero contact with mistress/child
    Vote C
  • Take him back and welcome child
    Vote D
  • No idea what I would do
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hand that son of a bitch divorce papers. Even if he had an affair that DIDN'T result in a child he'd be getting divorce papers and I'd be hauling ass out of that house. He can do whatever the hell he wants with that kid after that but I sure as hell won't be in the picture.

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    • I honestly wonder why this is considered controversial. It's pretty black and white to me.

    • some people think it's cruel hearted to choose to stay with the man but to not accept his bastard kid.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm a guy, but if I where a woman It would depend on the situation, if he had/made the kid before we where married I wouldn't leave him, but would be pretty PO'd and not speak to him for a while, unless he didn't know about the chiled untill recentlly, but if he did it while we where married than I would kick his butt out the door, if not it would always be on my mind if he would have another affair again or how manny more affairs he is keeping hidden.

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  • If I were a woman, I'd divorce him.

    If I were a man and this were my wife, I'd divorce her only in the unlikely scenario that I would not be the party that suffers financially.

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    • what do you mean? you would stay with your wife no matter what (unless it would cost less to leave)? What would you do with the mistress/love child?

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    • oh. I didn't understand. that's very mature of you. I wouldn't be able to recover from my husband having an affair.

    • Well, I would never emotionally recover either. But I can't risk bankruptcy and prison for non-payment of alimony or whatever.

      That said, I'm not ever going to get married. So it doesn't affect me.

What Girls Said 4

  • The divorce rate in the US is relatively, mostly because people refuse to fight for their marriages. Monogamy isn't natural nor can it be completely expected.

    But in this situation it would depend on whether or not we have children. With children involved I'd be much more inclined to go to couples therapy.

    I'd say D. I wouldn't want to be married to a man who would ignore ANY child he has. That says a lot about him. And it says a lot about a woman who expects her husband to not acknowledge his children.

    I'd take him back but trust would have to be gained. We would also need to work through whatever issues, mistakes and lack of communication that led to the affair.

    One of my best friends dealt with this. Her dad apparently had multiple affairs but it only came to light when one of his mistresses had a baby. Her mother offered to take the child in and whatnot. But eventually she decided on a separation.

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    • I have zero tolerance for affairs but if I had kids, I would re-consider staying with him. However If the affair resulted in a kid, I would have to leave. In my opinion, to get over an affair, there has to be ZERO contact with the other woman. a child makes that impossible and I would be very annoyed that me and my children would never again be in the #1 position in my husband/their father's eyes. Through no fault of my own or my children's we would all have to deal with blatant evidence...

    • of the affair every day for the rest of our lives. That would be WAY too much for me and I would have minimal contact with him. Holidays would be a nightmare.

    • Yeah, the kid would be a constant reminder of the affair. You'd never be able to 'forget,' in a sense of moving on. Don't know if I would haha. I think it's definitely a situation I'd have to be in, in order to say what I'd do. But I would like to try and work through issues

      Obvs I'd make sure a paternity test is done.

  • I'd already pack up and leave in a jiffy the moment I found out he has an affair. No baby needed.

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  • I would get a divorce. Eminem took in his wife's baby...but I'm not eminem. I actually have self esteem. So I would throw divorce papers at him.

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  • He would be gone if he had an affair wouldn't be no waiting around to see if he fathered a child.

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