Talking about exes in new relationship?

So this guy I've been seeing for a little while now talks about this one ex all the time. He says he has no feelings for her anymore, but still seems so angry over their break up, which was over 6 months ago. Is this something I should be worried about?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, he isn't over her, and he must be pretty ignorant when it comes to dating. A guy who knows anything at all about women is well aware that he should never ever mention his ex, especially in the first three months because it will make the girl think that he isn't over the ex (as this question attests), it will make her wonder if this is how he'll talk about her if she ever becomes his ex (in other words, if you date him and break up, which you probably will, would he then refer to you as a bitch), and it might her think that he only wants to be friends.

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What Guys Said 3

  • its so annoying I wanted dump my friend out of the car once when she was going on and on lol

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  • generally a bad idea.

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  • How did their relationship end?

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    • He's never really told me explicitly. I personally don't like to talk about exes, so I haven't asked. He just claims that she made up some story about cancer, but she was actually just cheating on him? I'm really not sure.

    • He was obviously cheated on and feels he has to keep bringing it up cos that's his way of saying please don't mess me about cos this is how it affected me last time.

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes. People who talk about their exes all the time are probably not over them. Also, you didn't say why he was angry about their breakup but 1) if it's cause he wasn't ready to break up, he might still want her 2) if it's because she's "a bitch" or "crazy" or something, that's a red flag. True, some people are crazy or super mean, but if he liked her enough to date her, an emotionally mature person refrains from badmouthing people. If she keyed his car or did something unforgivable that's different though.

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    • I am worried that he does still want her. He says they haven't talked in months and he doesn't like her at all, yet they're still friends on Facebook and he follows her on twitter. When we first started dating too, he said he doesn't care about this girl anymore because he's got me. I can't really talk to him about it because he just gets angry, so I'm sort of at a loss.

    • the Facebook/twitter thing doesn't necessarily mean anything. I would just tell him that the frequency with which he talks about his ex is concerning to you and you aren't interested in emotionally investing in someone who still has ex-drama or isn't ready to invest in you. See what he says. if you don't like the answer, walk. it's early still.

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