What is up with men equating cheating with first love?

My ex boyfriend had dated a girl from our high school. He didn't lose his virginity to her but he dated her for one year in school. He lost his virginity to someone else. Than he dated her for one year out of school. She stayed a virgin. She ended up cheating on him with a guy she really liked that most likely was her first love. Her family was racist to him and so was she. He still has this mentality that she was his first love and her cheating hurt him. He says that he stopped dating women for a year and just went out drinking and to clubs. I dated him for 4 years and he cheated on me where I dumped him. I know that has nothing to do with what I'm saying but could be why he cheated on me. Since she cheated on him. He came back begging me to take him back. What I don't get is why does he consider her his first love. When she was a racist and a cheater that he didn't take virginity. I have other friends that have been cheated on and feel those were their first love. One of the friends dated my cousin and my cousin was just using him. She never loved him she would always tell me that and would tell me how he would send her money. Literally she would laugh next to me as she would tell me how dumb he was. Yet this guy got a tattoo across his stomach saying love hurts. He's married now which is kind of awkward. So do men consider their first girlfriend their first love or the one that cheats on them. Women usually feel their first love is either the man they marry or the boyfriend that had to move away but most of the time not the cheater. Even if he was the first boyfriend they will tell you their husband was their first love. Men most likely will say the person that cheated on them.


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What Guys Said 1

  • When a woman is a virgin, it's not just in her body, it's in her mind, soul, heart, and spirit. For a man, even a non- virgin man, what she gives him is like giving him her virginity even if she doesn't actually sleep with him.

    He very likely caught on to that, and for him, it was very special.

    Sounds like this girl is a waste, unfortunately, if she is going to be cruel to him like that.

    • So you mean it was like he lost a prize that he was trying to conquer before the other guy?

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    • Your right. The first love doesn't always have to be about sex. Thanks for clarifying this. My question though is the first time men get cheated do they never forget it. I guess I can say the same thing about me this is 2nd time getting cheated on. I was with my ex for 4 years but the first time it hurt so bad and I was only with the guy for one year. I literally felt sick and wanted to vomit. I stopped dating for three years straight no partner and no intimacy. I wanted nothing to do with men.

    • Yes, it cuts us to the bone, too. To think we have invested so much with a woman- yet she feels as if it is not enough. It scars our hearts and makes us resentful... Do we ever forget the first time? No... We can't. We will always wonder if we are good enough for the next girl, or if she will just go out and cheat on us, too.

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